Diary of a Single Muslimah

Blind Faith

2007-07-10T15:28:00.000-04:00

First of all, I want to send a huge, huge thank you out to everyone that responded to my last post. Y'all have no idea how much I appreciate all of the love. Now, that being said, I will be taking a hiatus from blogging to figure some things out.

This past weekend, while I was in VA with my family, I came to the realization that I'm a habitual Muslim. I'm just a Muslim because my family was, I don't know that much about the religion and it didn't really concern me. I was never really unhappy in my faith because I didn't really think about it. I followed all of the big stuff and some of the little stuff. Anything I didn't follow, I just figured wasn't that big of a deal and God would forgive me. I never questioned Islam or anything about it except for once when I was around 10 or 12. I was told that Muslims just need to believe, they shouldn't question God. Since I was a very agreeable child, I just went with that and never thought twice about it. As a result, after I grew up and wasn't attending Qur'an school anymore, I pretty much stopped learning about Islam. I knew what I could and couldn't do and that was that. Well, that's wrong. No religion should be a habit and you should know what you're supposed to believe. Because of that, I will be taking a break from this blog to learn more about Islam and decide where my future lies. When I come back (most likely at the end of the summer) I will let y'all know my decision and the future of this blog.

I hope y'all will understand that this is a journey I have to take for myself. It's high time I learned about the religion I'm supposed to be a part of and practice it accordingly. If I'm unwilling to do that, I need to find something else.

P.S. I'll still be reading your blogs. I can't be out of the loop.

Big Girls Don't Cry

2007-07-04T23:15:00.001-04:00

It's the title of a new Fergie song (that I happen to LOVE) and it sums up my current life philosophy. There is actually quite a bit of drama going on in my life but there's nothing I can do except not let it get me down. As my co-worker always says, I've gotta do me. Let me just bring y'all up to speed.

My older sister is involved in an on-going custody battle for her oldest daughter. As I may or may not have mentioned, he's a fundamentalist Muslim that married my sister for a green card (didn't know any of this at the time) and after the divorce threatened numerous times to kidnap my niece and take her to Saudi Arabia. He has decided that he wants custody of her for various reasons and it's just a big mess. He actually tried to have my sister put in jail. Said she wasn't complying with the court order (untrue). Also, thanks to him, my poor niece is forced to see not one but two therapists. He feels that because she doesn't like him something must be wrong with her. As a result, she must see a therapist down here every week and in VA every other week. Her whole summer has been killed; no camp, no riding lessons, no parties, no nothing. I don't know why he would expect her to like him. He wasn't in her life for ages and since then has done nothing but alienate her. If she wanted to have the visits somewhere she liked, he would insist upon having them where he wanted; she asks for space, he comes closer; she tells him the kind of stuff she likes, he buys and does the opposite; and the only interest he ever expresses in her is how much Qur’an and Arabic she knows. Not to mention the fact that he's never been allowed to be alone with her due to his threats.
It's insanity but he's messing with the wrong family because if it's the last thing we do, he will be brought down. I personally will not rest until him and his b*&$h of a wife are tossed out of my country on their illegal alien butts. He isn't going to mess with my niece's life and get away with it. Mark my words, if it's the last thing I do, I will get revenge. I'm my father's daughter, vengeance will be mine. I'm sure that sounds very Soprano's to y'all but it's just how we roll. That being said, I am NOT going to do or have anyone else do anything criminal. I don't have it in me and he's not worth it.

Due to the aforementioned (I love that word) nonsense, we may be moving back to the VA/DC/MD area very soon. Like at the end of the summer. Nooooooooooooooo!! Y'all don't understand how much I absolutely do not want to go back. Unfortunately, M's sake, I must. We're very close and it would break her heart if her family split up on top of all of this. I'm so not looking forward to going back and if it were anyone else (except her little sister or my little brother) I totally wouldn't go. Starting over somewhere else where I wasn't always associated with some member of my family was fantastic. I could just be me. Also, I'm really not interested in seeing the same people, doing the same things, and going to the same places. Most of all, I'm not interested in the same people. A lot of whom I haven't heard from since moving but will be on me like white on rice the minute I get back. Gag me. That being said, I have been trying to look on the bright side. For instance, Metro (yay!), lots of stuff to do (although I like the stuff down here better), the city, and my family. I know the list is very small. The list of things I'm going to miss is much, much longer. Oh well, I have to soldier on.

Making me even more apprehensive about the move is the fact that I have recently discovered that the majority of my family are most likely leaving Islam. My mother, having converted from Christianity is now thinking of converting back. Her biggest problems are with Muslims and how they are and the restrictive nature of Islam. She has other issues too and she just no longer has Islam in her heart. She doesn't feel that she has a personal relationship with God. My sister's are basically feeling the same way. My older sister doesn't really pray anymore, hasn't stepped foot in a mosque in I don't know how long, and is really a Muslim in name only. And that's just because she hasn't figured out what else to be yet. My younger sister still prays and everything but she's not really feeling the religion; she's just scared to leave it. However, I feel that if it isn't in your heart, you need to move on. I mean, she has no interest in Muslims (including marrying one) or attending the mosque. She thinks Islam is too strict and she questions and takes issue with a lot of things about it. She currently says otherwise but I highly doubt she's going to stay a Muslim. Naturally, my little brother and nieces are going to become whatever their parents become. My mom is going to start exposing my brother to church and let him choose but he really doesn't practice now and has very little exposure to Muslims so it's no secret what he's going to choose. The girls are under the age of 12 so their just going to be what their mom is. It breaks my heart, it really does. Not because I think their going to hell but because it's always been us being Muslims. When the outside world didn't get being American Muslim, I could turn to my family and clearly that ship has sailed. I always thought that my kids would have it easier than I did. They would grow up with not only a mother that was raised Muslim but aunts and uncles as well. They would have Muslim cousins that they could celebrate Ramadan and Eid with instead of feeling left out over Christmas. Instead, I'm feeling like an outsider in my own family. Ramadan is in a little while and for the first time ever, I'll most likely be celebrating it alone. It's made even worse by the fact that, if we go back to VA, everyone will be inquiring as to my family's whereabouts and after the news is out, there will be whispers. Now before everyone starts thinking I'm making this all about me, I'm very concerned about how this will affect them. I really don't want the older kids to be confused. It has to be strange, being brought up one way and then switching mid-field. Also, most of the people we've always known, considered family even, are going to turn their backs on us. They'll turn on my family because they're no longer Muslim and me for keeping in touch with them. I've heard of these things happening. We are about to lose a lot of people that we considered very close; people that we considered aunts, uncles, and cousins. I know for sure that my brother is about to lose two of his oldest friends because their father (an old family friend) is never going to let them hang out with him. I know that life will go on and everyone will make new friends but it's like saying good-bye to an entire lifetime. I just hope that everyone is prepared for that but, more than anything; I hope that everyone finds what they're looking for.

Dive In

2007-06-19T21:42:00.000-04:00

Alright, y'all....here goes nothing. I'm holding my nose and diving in..........to the online dating pool. Y'all better pray I don't drown. I'm not a strong swimmer. Yeah, okay we're done with the swimming bit for now.

My mother has been on me about perusing other matrimonial avenues. Now, I'm not big on the whole online thing. It kind of sketches me out. That being said, I do know people this has worked for. And, as my dear mother pointed out, it's not like I'm having the best of luck with other avenues. "You wouldn't want to get to old to have children." Wow. I had no idea I was so close to becoming a pathetic spinster. I think my cousins wedding set her off. Her and my aunts have been on me and my cousin (the groom's sister) like white on rice since then. They want more weddings and grandbabies. Apparently, we're getting on in years. I can't even be mad because it's kind of funny and kind of true. We aren't as young as we used to be and there are expectations.

Of course, I do want to get married, sooner rather than later so it makes sense to try something new. After all, there aren't that many opportunities to meet Muslims of the opposite sex once you're out of college. Also, I haven't tried anything new in a while and I did make a resolution to try new things. If any of y'all have recommendations for websites, let me know. InshaAllah, I'll be making my final decision over the weekend.

Alright, here I go. 1, 2, 3...............JUMP!

Coming Soon

2007-06-18T10:23:00.000-04:00

Hey, y'all. I've been crazy busy but I'll be back soon. I promise!

The Little Lady Agency

2007-05-31T22:09:00.000-04:00

I don't know how many, if any of you, have read or heard of the Hester Browne book "The Little Lady Agency." It's one of my absolute favorite books. It's a British novel about this somewhat self-conscious girl that's super organized, exquisitely mannered, and good with people when she puts her mind to it. She decides to start an agency that basically provides girlfriend/mom services to me. You know the type; organizing things, sending gifts and proper correspondence, making sure they are clothed properly, improving manners, those kind of things. She's really good at it. She's firm but nice, which is exactly what you need to be.

Apparently almost everyone that knows me thinks I should become a professional organizer. My mother is constantly telling me this but I always figured it was so I could organize her closets. ;)
Anyway, since I'm OCD about etiquette, I've been to finishing school, I have a true gift for shopping and gift purchasing, I'm not only organized but really good at organizing others, and somewhat bossy; everyone thinks I would be really good at this. My older sister is like, "just let me make you some business cards and go for it." One of my cousins says that I'm a "Black, Muslim, Mary Poppins." Hmm, okay. I knew I was organized and, admittedly, a little overly concerned with manners but I had no idea everyone viewed me as this Mary Poppins/Clarisse Rinaldi (Grandmother from Princess Diaries) type of person.

While providing these services may be a good idea, I think it's best if I leave the single men alone. Although, God knows it would be a great way to meet them. Kidding! No, everyone else might be onto something. In addition to organizing parties, I could organize lives. Food for thought.

BTW, I mentioned the book because I'm currently reading the sequel and when this conversation happened; it made me think of that book.

Tag! You're It!

2007-05-28T22:58:00.000-04:00

I've been tagged by Ruby to list my five favorite places to eat. Here goes nothing.

1. Cheesecake Factory. I absolutely love this place. They've got great food, ambiance, and they're really good with large groups. Also, they're one of the few places where I still like something on the desert menu.
2. Chipotle. Good food fast. Need I say more? Pretty much the only Mexican place I really like. I was so excited when I moved to NC and one opened a few weeks later. Really, y'all can't imagine my joy.
3. IHOP. Oh, the memories. This is my family's gathering place. We've done a lot of meeting up and catching up at IHOP. This weekend, the morning after my cousin's wedding, we all met there for breakfast. Everyone almost always gets the same thing but it doesn’t' matter. We're really not there for the food.
4. Olive Garden. Love this place, always have. I used to beg my parents to go to the Olive Garden. I like the music and I love the food. However, I will admit to some bitterness over them taking chocolate lasagna off of the menu. It was my all time favorite dessert anywhere.
5. Food Corner Kabob. OMG, they know me and my (immediate) family here. I've been eating there for as long as I can remember and every time I'm in VA I have to stop there. They have the best kabobs anywhere. You can't beat the food or the service. They give you so much food that most people (me included) have to save half for later. It's small and family owned, which is what makes it special.

Mmm, yummy. Alright, y'all. I want to hear from Haleem, Twenny-Two, Atifa, Sarah, and AKA. Thanks, y'all!

So much for my happy ending

2007-05-28T20:05:00.000-04:00

The marine and I are dunzo. We ended it before I went away for the weekend. I'm a little sad about it but it was the right thing to do. There were quite a few things we disagreed on, he's got a bit of a temper, he rarely thinks he's wrong, and there's the whole mother thing. After our fight, we talked.......a lot. I prayed on it and I decided to end it. I mean, he doesn't think he has anything to apologize for. As far as he's concerned, he hasn't done or said anything wrong. His attitude is it was a fight and fights aren't pleasant. It just hit me; I can't spend the rest of my life with that kind of attitude. I'm actually glad we had that fight because the gloves came off. We stopped being nice and polite and that was good. The truth came out. And the truth is he thinks I'm spoiled and my family (that he hasn't even met) is pretentious. I think he can be a jerk, his mother is incredibly ill-bred, and he's a bit of a mama's boy. Obviously, this was doomed from the start. We just didn't know it.

Oh, well; you win some, you lose some. InshaAllah, I'll have better luck next time. Who knows, maybe I'll meet someone at the ICNA convention. Lord knows that's what my mother's hoping for.

Meet the Parents.......Part I (The Aftermath)

2007-05-22T00:18:00.000-04:00

Alright y'all, he called me today. He was giving me time to "calm down." I'm sure that was for the best. Anyway, he called to apologize for her and her behavior. What follows is a transcript of our conversation.

Marine: I just wanted to apologize to you for my mom's behavior.
Me: Oh, that's fine. It's not your fault. I was just a little, I don't know, shocked I guess. I've never really been treated like that in someone's house before.
Marine: Well, she was out of line but you have to understand where she's coming from.
Me (only in my head): No I don't. She needs to get some manners.
Marine: She's always had a different type of girl in mind for me.
Me: A different type of girl?
Marine: I mean, I don't know, someone a little more modest and traditional.
Me: I see. And does she have a particular modest, traditional girl in mind.
Marine: I really don't see how that's relevant. (What?! How is that not relevant? I'll just take that as a yes.)
Me: That's not really an answer.
Marine: That's all the answer you're going to get.
Dead silence
Marine: ::heavy sigh:: Try not to take it too personally. You just represent the kind of woman she doesn't like and doesn't want for me.
Me: I beg your pardon?
Marine: See? That. You say things in this society girl tone and my mom just doesn't deal well with that. Because of how she grew up she hates society girls. With the finishing school and the sorority and they way you dress, you just represent that. She's never been part of the white glove and pearls set and she just doesn't have any use for it.
Me: I didn't throw that stuff in her face. I would never have said anything about it if she hadn't mentioned it. You told her all of that, not me.
Marine: It came up in conversation.
Me: How does that just "come up in conversation?"
Marine: She asked about you and I told her. Do you want a play by play of the conversation?
Me: You know what? The sarcasm isn't necessary. My mother didn't verbally attack you for not being a good Muslim and being a snob. Oh, I'm sorry, "high siddity."
Marine (in a tone that could freeze boiling water): Alright, you know what? It's over; I've apologized and explained her behavior. You're a big girl and you're old enough to know that not everyone has to or is going to like you. You're going to have to move past it because as far as I'm concerned, it's over and we're done discussing it.
Me (in an equally cold tone): Is that right? Well, then I guess there's nothing left to say.
Marine: Guess not.
::click::

Oh, no he did not even try to get an attitude with me. Telling me when a discussion is over. What? Who does he think he is? Oh, I am so mad right now. And what was that tone? Please, I am not scared of him. He does not want me to have to get ugly.
Y'all, I have just seen the future and it is not pretty. If we ever speak to each other again, we will have quite a bit to discuss. And don't even get me started on the other girl that's waiting in the wings. Such total crap. I'm so disgusted right now.

Meet the Parents.......Part I (Recap)

2007-05-19T23:18:00.000-04:00

Okay so dinner was a bit of a disaster. His mother hated me on sight. She turned her mouth all up like she was sucking lemons. And she seemed to be insinuating that I was a questionable Muslim. I'll start at the beginning.

I arrived right on time bearing homemade chocolate cake and a pretty bouquet. I wore a very pretty navy blue dress and pearls (oooh, I also wore the cutest spectator pumps in ivory and navy). Pretty, tasteful, classic. It was very Ann Taylor. We'll call this mistake number one. The Marine let me in, complimented me, and took my stuff. So far so good. He tells me the men are downstairs and the ladies are in the kitchen. Cool beans. We go into the kitchen to meet his mom and sisters (I've already met one of them). His mom takes one look at me, turns her mouth up, and says, "Sweetie, you never told me she didn't cover." COW! Where does she get her nerve? There is dead silence for a minute and he just says, "Mom" with this slight tone. I just smile politely and say, "it's a pleasure to finally meet you, ma'am." She cuts me this look and he says, "She brought dessert." It was kind of random but he was trying to move past the hijab incident (she wears jilbab). One of his sister’s pops up with, "oooh, that's so nice. What did you make?" I tell her a chocolate cake with butter cream frosting. I confirm that it was indeed made from scratch and we start talking about baking. His eyes start to glaze over (standard male reaction) and his mom tells him to go on. After he leaves (abandons me), she turns to me and says, "I never would have guessed a girl like you could cook." I lightly laugh and ask, "A girl like me?" You know what her response is? "A high siddity little debutante." WTH? Do people still say "high siddity?" One of his sisters is like "Momma!" This heifer is not even remotely shamed. She says, "What, this is my house and I can speak my mind." I started to give her ill bred behind a piece of my mind but, unlike her, I have self-control.

She proceeds to tell me that her son has told her all about me and she is not impressed by my "high flown" manners or over-priced clothes. What impresses her is a modest Muslimah with a pure heart and knowledge of the Qur'an and Sunnah. Really? Did she take it there with someone she doesn't even know? I told her (preceding with "please don't that this the wrong way) she didn't know me and therefore couldn't possible know anything about my heart or my knowledge of the Qur'an and Sunnah. I also told her that she also didn't know me well enough to judge my manners and that she need not concern herself with the price of my clothes. Then I neatly changed the subject and asked her if she'd like my help with dinner. Unsurprisingly, she declined.

Sometime after that, while I was coming back from the bathroom, I overheard two of his sisters talking about me. One of his Muslim sisters talking to his non-Muslim sister and telling her that she didn't know what (other than my looks) her brother saw in me. She said, "I mean she's nice enough but what's he doing to do with some prissy little sorority girl from the city?" ::sigh:: These people. At least his non-Muslim sister likes me. She told her to grow up and get over it. I'm not sure what she meant but she went on to tell her that I was a perfectly nice girl and they should all give me a break.

Things continued to be tense during dinner. His father was friendly and polite, asking me about my life and goals for the future. That's when The Marine's mother chimes in with how her son told her I was trying to break into event planning. She says, "That doesn't strike you as a little frivolous?" His father told her that there was nothing wrong with a young lady being a little frivolous. She then says that she considers it shameful that I have no higher goals than "throwing over priced parties for a living" but I'm not interested in staying home with my children. Oh, no she didn't. Y'all can't begin to imagine how shocked I was that he told her that but I kept a polite expression on my (very red) face. I told her I couldn't imagine how that was her concern and I didn't plan on discussing it with her. And on it went. She asked a million questions about my family and upbringing, all the while making little comments or noises. We made it to dessert without any bloodshed and everyone loved my cake. His mom even unbent enough to tell me it "wasn't bad."

Like I said earlier, total disaster. My sole consolation is that they enjoyed the cake. I can honestly say that never seeing his mother again would be too soon. She was a total witch and she has the manners of a troll. I don't care what her issues are; her behavior was completely uncalled for. At least she had the decency to wash my cake plate and give it back. Otherwise I would have had to explain to my mother why she could forget about it.

Naturally, I'm not too sure where this leaves us (the Marine and I) but I'm not really expecting to hear from him tomorrow and it doesn't bother me. I'm not crazy about the fact that he's (in my opinion) over shared with her, just a touch. Whatever. I'm tired so I'm going to bed.

Real Men Don't Crush

2007-05-17T23:48:00.000-04:00

This one's for you, Atifa!

Awhile back, during college, I was teasing a guy friend about having a crush on another friend. He denied it and then proceeded to tell me that "men don't have crushes. That is a silly female affliction." Apparently, men get the hots for women, they have a thing for them, they like them, and they're interested in them. They never, ever have crushes unless they're gay. Maybe not even then. After I got over my shock (and laughter), it kind of made sense. I mean, when you have a crush, you're all giggly and stuff. I don't really see a man acting like that. On the other hand, having a crush is really just liking someone so even if you don't say the word aren't the feelings are the same? Hmmm, food for thought. I guess the jury's still out on this one. What do y'all think, do real men crush?

Time Flies

2007-05-16T09:00:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it's been a year since I started blogging. Before I started blogging, I thought it was kind of silly and self-involved. Now, I can't imagine not blogging. I have gotten to know a ton of fabulous people through this blog and I look forward to getting to know many more. Everyday I'm amazed by how many people read this blog and actually care about what happens. I expected less than five readers; I never would have imagined so many people would be interested in my personal life. I guess I was wrong because not only are y'all interested, you clamor for more.

Thanks for an awesome year! I look forward to another one.

Meet the Parents.......Part I

2007-05-15T22:27:00.000-04:00

OMG, OMG, OMG! I'm meeting his parents this weekend! Oh, my goodness. I'm pretty nervous. I hope they like me. They probably will, most parents do. Anyway, the invitation totally came out of the blue. There I was, trying to cajole him into coming to this art thing and all of a sudden he invites me to his parents place. Apparently, the entire family has dinner together once a month. This month, I'm invited. Now I've just got to figure out what I'm wearing. Obviously, I'm wearing a dress. The question is, which one?

Alright, y'all, wish me luck!

This could have been ugly

2007-05-10T20:47:00.000-04:00

Me, the Marine, his sister (the non-Muslim one), and her boyfriend spent the day at the park. We were all off from work and she called and invited me. Nice of her, don't you think? Anyway, this particular park has a riding trail which we were able to take full advantage of thanks to her boyfriend. His family owns a ranch. We pair off into couples and before long, the sister and her boyfriend have gotten kind of far ahead of us. I am not what you would call an accomplished rider so we hung back. It was nice........until the horse threw me. Yep, I was thrown to the ground by a stupid animal. Something must have startled her because one minute the Marine and I were chatting/flirting and the next, the horse was rearing back. He's an excellent rider so he grabbed the reins and tried to stop the horse but it was too late. I'm not that good of a rider and I couldn't hold on. I hit the ground hard. In like two seconds he was off of his horse, containing mine, and checking on me. He made sure nothing was broken and fussed over me while I sniffled and tried not to cry (it hurt). Y'all know he carries a handkerchief. Naturally, it's of the crisp, white variety.

Anyway, there was no help to be had so he had to maneuver poor bruised and battered me and both horses. He did really well. He asked me if I thought I could sit my horse alone and I was like, "I don't know." Climbing onto the horse was definitely out of the question so he lifted me onto his, gathered my horse’s reins, swung up behind me and led us out of there.

I'm pretty bruised and sore but other than that, I'm good to go. The Marine was really sweet, he even called tonight to see how I was feeling. His sister called too, she told me that her boyfriend felt bad because it was his horse. Apparently she's usually very tame but she's never left the ranch before. Great.

The Buck Stops Here

2007-05-09T00:34:00.000-04:00

Okay people, we're done. It's over. There is no more Anonymous posting on my blog. Not only is it confusing trying to figure out who said what, I also find it kind of rude. Recently I have been somewhat taken to task over things. I don't have a problem with this; I believe in free speech. However, this is my blog and you'll play by my rules. If you have something to say, by all means say it but don't think to hide behind a mask of anonymity because I'm not having it.

I hope I haven't offended anyone because I do value your readership but I don't care for all of this anonymous shenanigans.

The Kentucky Derby Test

2007-05-06T22:44:00.000-04:00

As y'all may or may not know, the Kentucky Derby was this weekend. While, obviously, I didn't go; one of the Marine's CO's (commanding officer) had a Derby party at his house (gorgeous estate home) and we went. It was a test, plain and simple. The same test men always give; can you fit into my life? Please. Honey, I'm a Southern almost-Debutante, I can fit in anywhere. I showed up at the party looking like a million dollars. I wore a pink dress with a little cardigan over it, cute shoes, and the coup de grace; a fantastic hat (pink wide brim with feathers). And, yes, I wore my hijab. I tied it in a chignon at the nape of my neck. I looked fabulous.

Not only did the Marine have compliment after compliment for me, but everyone else did too. His CO's wife told me how much she loved my hat and I was a "darling' little thing." I danced with her husband twice. He's actually pretty charming. He thought I was the "prettiest little thing." Another wife commented on how good I was with the crowd. She said this was obviously my thing and that she wished she was better at it. I told her all she's got to do is fake it till she makes it. Then I started taking her around introducing her to people.

I'm sure most of them were expecting some mealy mouthed, socially inept, walking ten paces behind her man, stereotype of a Muslim woman. Never going to happen. I didn't hang on the Marine; he actually had to seek me out a couple of times for introductions. I was all things charming, polite, and gracious. I don't think there was anyone I didn't speak to at least once. Of course, I love all things social so I was in my element. As a result, I passed my test with flying colors. He says to me, "You were great tonight. I think you charmed everyone." I asked if I charmed him and he said "since the day we met." He wasn't sure I would enjoy myself because I didn't know anyone and it was mostly Marines and their significant others. Silly man. I just smiled and told him I love meeting new people, besides, after an hour together you're no longer strangers. He laughed but there was definitely relief in his eyes. It's basically like, can she handle this or is she going to make things difficult? I can handle it and now he knows so if we don't work out, it won't be because I can't fit into his life.

Just What I Needed

2007-04-28T00:58:00.000-04:00

Today, the Marine gave me just what I needed. He sent flowers to my job. For the last week (two weeks really) I have been working almost non-stop trying to get the new store ready to open. I'm talking 10-16 hour days (and nights). Today was our grand opening. I worked from 8:30am to Midnight. Anyway, we've both been really busy (he's been on base) and haven't had time to see or get in touch with each other. Today, right before lunch, the florist came by with a beautiful bouquet of tulips. Imagine my surprise when I realized they were for me! I was so excited! The card basically just congratulated me and wished me a good grand opening. It was so, super sweet. I was tired and emotional (we all were) and it was exactly what I needed. It just brought my mood right up. I'm going to have to call and thank him tomorrow. I called today but he wasn't there. It was just so awesome. All the girls were jealous. Whatever, I'm always single. When everyone is cuddled up over the winter, getting Valentine's gifts, taking long walks over the spring, and going on summer vacations, I'm all alone. I deserve those flowers; after all, most of them are going home to someone that will rub their feet and back. I'm not. ::sigh::

And they were so beautiful. I mean, there were at least 30 tulips. They were yellow and white; they matched my outfit (tan suit, yellow top, yellow hijab). I'm a lucky girl. The only thing better would have been him there in person.

Confessions of a Lifetime Flirt

2007-04-25T22:22:00.000-04:00

Recently, people have been commenting on my (and the Marine's) flirtatious ways. Let me just explain something to y'all real quick. Flirting is a Southern thing. For most of us, it's as natural as breathing. In the general course of things, it's in no way sexual. I call so many people (men and women), honey, baby, sugar, sugh, darlin', and everything else. It's being charming and I'm very charming. I smile, make jokes, make them feel good about themselves, etc. It's called social flirting and I'm quite good at it. For the most part, the tactics that I use on men work on women. Women like to feel special too. It's just a matter of fine-tuning.

I'll flirt with anyone from a newborn baby to an elderly gentleman. This is no secret. I've always been this way. I first practiced my flirting skills on my daddy at a very early age. It's the reason I got further with him than my sisters. I didn't cry or have fits. I sat in his lap, batted my lashes, and said "daddy, please". He almost always caved and when he didn't, I kicked it up another notch. I have yet to meet a man it didn't work on.....even the gay ones. One of my new (male) co-workers is gay but it works. He always does all the heavy lifting for me and gets things for me. He gives me my way. I established myself as a certain type of woman from the beginning and now I don't even have to ask. "Hey, Darlin', I could sooo use a pair of strong arms over. I'm doing just a little struggling with this box." He didn’t just help me; he said, "Oh, I've got you baby" and came over and took that box and all the rest of them. Cue squeal and mini jump with little clap. "Oooh, you are such a rock star! Thanks honey." Now he's putty in my hands. My boss's boyfriend is also putty in my hands. She doesn't worry, not only is she Southern, she also knows I have zip interest in him. We all tease each other and have fun but I've got them eating out of my palm. No harm, no foul. Being sweet as honey gets you very far in life.

As for the Marine (as I've taken to calling him here), we're interested in each other and I don't see any harm in letting it be known. We know exactly what we're pursuing and as long as we aren't coming on to each other or saying inappropriate things to each other, we're good. Aside from some slightly flirty banter, all he's done is compliment me and I don't see anything wrong with that. I quite like being complimented. He calls me gorgeous because he thinks I am and all other terms of endearment are probably just his way. That's how a lot of people down here are. The guy that semi-regularly waits on me at Starbucks calls me "sweetness." He's not even trying to pick me up.

Yes, the Marine and I are (very) attracted to each other but this fuss over flirting is much ado about nothing. We're not going to leap from flirting to falling in bed together. Never gonna happen. It's a conversation tool and a very useful one when used correctly. I recommend y'all (especially you ladies) read "What Southern Women Know About Flirting." It's a fabulous book, written by a fabulous belle.

******EDITED*******
I forgot to link to the book. My bad.

To Date or Not to Date

2007-04-23T23:22:00.000-04:00

There has been quite a bit of fuss over the whole dating/non-dating, halal/haram issue here. I'm not a scholar (not even close) so I won't presume to know everything but I don't really remember reading the words "dating is forbidden." Men and women can't be alone together and we weren't alone together. I don't plan on being alone with him. However, I do feel that you need to know a person, at least somewhat, prior to getting married or even engaged. It's very difficult to do that with nosy elders or siblings hovering around you. Everyone is so busy trying to be on there best "parent" behavior that you aren't really getting to know the real them. Then you're engaged, because there's no reason not to be, only to have to break it off a couple of months down the line. I know Muslims that have been engaged more than three times. They have to keep breaking them off after a few months because they didn't know enough about that person. I'm trying my best not to be one of those people. At the same time, I'm trying not to do any real sinning. This is the result. I'm sure some of our dates will be chaperoned. Some of them won't need to be. This weekend we were in a crowded park so chaperones weren't necessary. I don't know about y'all but I would never be, to put it delicately, overly affectionate with anyone in public. I think it's tacky.

My own mother has concerns about this whole scenario, up to and including him being a Marine. She's not crazy about men in the military to begin with (dated some back in the day) and she's really not crazy about Muslims in the military. My brother wanted to go to the Air Force Academy and be a fighter pilot and she completely freaked. She feels it's a conflict of interest. She said he could fight for a Muslim country, which freaked me and my sister out. Our baby brother fighting for some third world country (most likely the enemy of our country), heck no! I mean, it's nothing personal, we're American and don't like the idea of our little brother fighting for another country. Anyway, she's got a bigger issue with pseudo dating. She doesn't believe that Muslims should date but, at the same time, she doesn't want us marrying or getting engaged to someone we haven't taken some time to get to know. I'm like, "and how will we get to know him if we don't spend time with him?" She says that's not dating but my sisters and I (being sane) disagree. At the end of the day, dating is spending time getting to know someone that you're romantically interesting in. Chaperoned or not, it's still pretty much dating. You can call it "talking", "hanging out", or whatever else; it's all the same. The only difference is that there's a right way and a wrong way of doing it. I won't say halal and haram because I don't like labeling things like that.

A man and a woman in a car, house, condo, apartment, or whatever alone together is wrong. We're clear on that. Meeting up for lunch, all good in the hood. An unchaperoned dinner in a dimly lit, romantic restaurant is asking for trouble. A Sunday brunch at a place filled with old ladies and society matrons, good times. Anything in a public venue, and by public I mean enough people around to discourage any type of canoodling, is pretty much okay. Hanging out at your families home with people drifting in an out (quasi-privacy) is also okay. Really, what are you going to do when a family member could pop in at any second?

I understand the importance of doing the right thing but at the same time, we (as Muslims) do have to adapt to modern times. Things are not like they were way back in the Prophet's (PBUH) time. And while I'm sure there are plenty of people that take issue with the whole "halal dating" scenario, I take issue with multiple engagements and/or marriages.

They say you never really know a person until you've lived with them and I suppose that's true. However, there's nothing wrong with trying to learn as much as you can prior to that point. I just don't really think it's possible to do that with a few IMs, phone calls, and family meetings. It works for some people, and that's fantastic, but we shouldn't pass judgement on those it doesn't work for.

Barefoot In The Park

2007-04-22T16:43:00.000-04:00

Oh my goodness! I had such a great time! I haven't stopped smiling. Not only did we have a great time yesterday, we met for brunch today. That's right. But let's rewind.

We met up (no riding in cars with boys) at one of those street festivals. You know the kind; food, arts, crafts, music, etc. Anyway, we walked around for a while just talking and having a good time. After a while he asked if I was ready to eat. I said, I don't know, I kind of want to stay for the concert. He gets this look and is all "we could do both". I said, "Oh, I don't really want anymore of this junk food." He says he's got a plan and tells me to "wait right here." When he comes back, he's got a picnic basket. I was all, "OMG, a picnic, this is awesome!" And it was. He packed chicken salad, assorted crackers, a French baguette with butter, one of those mini cakes from Whole Foods (the strawberry one with butter cream frosting), and sparkling white grape juice. Y'all, he even remembered a blanket. I was so impressed. I was all giggly, and I said, "well, Lieutenant, you sure know how to impress a girl." He leaned in and said, "Darlin' I'm a firm believer in giving your best." Insert breathless giggle here. I know but it's all I could manage at the time. Anyway, after he served both of us and poured the sparkling, I asked how he managed to keep everything cold. Y'all know what he said? "A good Marine is resourceful." What kind of explanation is that? Which is exactly what I asked. He told me the information was "highly classified." Cute. I'll give him that.

Meanwhile, we had great conversations the entire day. We talked about everything (slight exaggeration). He's great. I can't believe I almost wrote him off just because he's in the military. Speaking of which, we talked about that too. He owes them two more years of service. He's not sure if he's going to continue after that or just be a regular working guy. With his education and experience, he knows it'll be easy to find a job but he can't really see himself doing anything else. At the same time, like so many others, he's not 100% thrilled with the military right now. It's something he'll have to work out for himself and I, obviously, won't be interfering in any way.

Anyway, he was a total gentleman the entire time. Nothing inappropriate. We decided to meet up so we wouldn't be alone in the car together. And since he wasn't driving me home, he followed me home to make sure I got there safely. Gotta love it. And brunch was just as perfect.

Senseless Tragedy

2007-04-17T13:05:00.000-04:00

I'm sure by now, everyone has heard about the tragedy at Virginia Tech. My heart aches for VTech and my prayers are with them, their families, and friends. I can only be thankful that no one I know is injured or dead. It's times like this that you wonder what the world is coming to.

If at all possible, VTech students have asked people to wear burgandy and/or orange (their school colors) as a show of support and tribute the those lost.

Talk about a sign!

2007-04-15T10:28:00.000-04:00

Guess who I had breakfast with yesterday? That's right, the Marine. Probably couldn't have asked for a bigger sign than him showing up right behind me at Panera Bread. I was waiting for them to double toast my bagel and heard "hey gorgeous." Naturally, I looked up and there he was. We started making small talk until our food was ready. Then he's all "have breakfast with me." I smiled, rolled my eyes a little and said (slightly sarcastically), "well, since you asked so nicely." So he laughs and says, "just shut up and have breakfast with me. You know you want to." I started laughing. I was like, "you're so bossy!" We ate and when we were done he goes (all cocky like he knows the answer), "should I take this as permission granted?" I said, depends on what you want. He was all, "you know what I want." Of course, I said yes. And he tells me not to make any plans for next weekend. I'm like what if I already have plans? He goes, "cancel them." I said, "you're pretty sure of yourself." He said, " I know what I want and I'm not afraid to take it." Ladies, that's hot. I was just a teensy bit breathless when I told him I was free next weekend. He just winked and said, "good." Then he walked me to my car.

Oh boy. He's a cocky you-know-what but it's pretty sexy. He gives me butterflies and it's definitely been a long time since I had any of those. Anyway, I've now gone from writing him off to looking forward to getting to know him. How quickly things change.

The Muslimah and the Marine

2007-04-10T23:01:00.000-04:00

Sounds like the title of a romance novel, right? Yeah, it's not gonna happen. As much as I love a man in uniform, I'm not cut out to be a military wife. Confused? Sorry. I'll start at the beginning.

One of my regular customers was raised a Muslim. She no longer practices but her family does, including her brother whom she thought I would be perfect for. She chats him up and I agree to basically a blind date. We met for coffee.....and it was AWESOME. He was great. I mean, really good looking, tall, charming, so well mannered, fun, and really good to talk to. There's just one problem: He's a MARINE, y'all! I would be a terrible military wife. I would absolutely not be able to handle it. I mean, I love a man in uniform but it would never work. Plus, I would HATE living on base. Shoot, if I had known he was in the service I never would have agreed to meet him.

Of course, we had a great time and he asked if he could call me and I was like, I'd like that but I don't think it would work. And he knew right off the bat. He was like, it's the military thing right? I said, I just don't think I can do it. He was all teasingly "never say never" "you don't know unless you give it a shot". I told him that usually that's my attitude but I just don't think it'll work. He said he wasn't going to beg (I most certainly wasn't expecting him to) and gave me his contact info if I changed my mind.

Hmm, what to do, what to do? If he wasn't in the military I wouldn't hesitate to contact him but he is. It's very sexy but I'm not cut out for it. He seems like great guy but I'm pretty positive it wouldn't work. So why am I debating this?

Yay Me!

2007-04-03T21:03:00.000-04:00

Remember that promotion I told y'all about? I got it! I'm so super excited. This is my first real promotion. I start next week. Good-bye job hunting, hello real employment! In addition to my management responsibilities, I'll be handling marketing and events. If nothing else, this job will help build my event planning portfolio. I'm totally celebrating this weekend. See? Good things come to those who wait.

Still Here

2007-04-01T00:50:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still around. I've just been kind of busy lately. I'll be posting again soon.

Happy Birthday to me!

2007-03-15T19:23:00.000-04:00

Today's my 25th birthday! I've officially said good-bye to my youth. No longer can I be included in the 18-24 age group. And you know what? That's cool with me. Growing up is not a bad thing. I may not be where I thought I would be but there are a lot of good things in my life and plenty more to come. So today we celebrate me and my fabulosity hitting the quarter century mark. I've already had a great day and I'm going to wind it down with chocolate cupcakes, a glass of wine, and Grey's Anatomy. Good times.

I strongly urge the rest of you to have something delish on my behalf.

Toodles!

Final Farewell

2007-03-06T23:36:00.000-05:00

Well, I've gone and done it. I've finally changed my cell phone number over from a VA area code to an NC one. I've severed one of my last (non-emotional) ties to VA. I've had that number for almost six years but it was time to move on. Now I just need to get that NC drivers license. My VA one expires on the 15th of this month (my birthday). I can't be "ridin dirrty".

Convertable Husbands

2007-02-25T21:43:00.000-05:00

Convertible Husbands: The latest matrimonial craze.

I'm sure most of y'all know someone with one. BUT, for those of you that don't know, a convertible husband is a non-Muslim that converted so y'all could get married. I know a few sisters that have done this and it seems to be getting even more popular. In a way I can understand where they're coming from, especially the foreign sisters. Non-Muslim guys don't seem to have the same "issues" as a lot of Muslim guys. It seems to me that a lot (not all) brothers seem to have this thing wear they want this hot, willing to be freaky, vestal virgin. She doesn't exist. They don't want her too religious because then she's no fun but they don’t want her too worldly because then maybe he isn't the first man in her life. The problem with this mentality is that unless a girl is pretty religious chances are she's had some sort of romantic entanglement and I'm not even talking about dating or sleeping around. What about talking to prospects, falling for friends, broken engagements, and all of the things that make up life outside of a bubble? Heck, even a religious girl could have had one of these. In this day and age, in this country, there's only so much innocence a girl over a certain age can have. Frankly, too much innocence is dangerous. Anyway, I'm straying from the topic.

Non-Muslims are far more blasé about this type of thing. For most of them, simply being a virgin (or not too experienced) is good enough. To most non-Muslims, that implies that you haven't been in a too serious relationship and likely have no real (relationship) baggage. They don't worry over every little nuance. They take what you tell them and work from that. They don't delve deep into everything little thing you've ever done. A lot of sisters are telling me that it's a welcome break; that it's nice not to have someone worrying about you being in a car alone with a guy for 15 minutes during sophomore year. They also seem more able to be the type of husbands that a lot of sisters want. I'll let y'all read what you will into that last statement. I'm not going into all of the things my girlfriends said they feel our brothers are lacking.

That being said, I think a lot of us are too harsh on our brothers. Yes, there are a lot of them with serious issues but there are a lot of really good ones too. And are we so faultless? I think not. Besides, as far as I can tell, converting your own husband is not without its problems. First, there's bringing him around. It takes a lot to get someone to renounce their religion and/or way of life. Second, there's the whole family issue. He may be willing and ready to convert but they probably won't like it or the bride to be. There's also the issue of the girl's family, they probably won't like him or the situation. It may always be a problem. I've seen it go both ways. A friend of my older sister's did this with a guy she met in med school and both of their families came around in record time. They've been married for over ten years, MashaAllah. I also knew of a girl whose marriage fell apart in less than a year because everyone was so against it and it tore them apart. Interestingly enough, he stayed with Islam and she left. Third (and, I think, final), there's the culture shock. If you've come from Christianity or no religion at all, it's a huge shocker. There are so many things that are different and so much that you have to give up, not to mention the Muslims themselves. It's a lot to deal with and everyone doesn't handle it well. Little everyday things that didn't used to matter suddenly become a big deal. And let's not even get into something like planning a wedding. It's crazy.

I don't think it's for me but I can't say for sure. As it stands now, I don't feel like I'm having such a difficult time with Muslim men that I need to start pursuing non-Muslims and I work hard at making sure I don't just fall for one. And while I'm willing to concede that I've met far more non-Muslim men I could see myself with long term, I think that's because I haven't had the chance really get to know most Muslim men. That's the real problem with Muslim gender relations. We just don't get to know each other. It's so much easier to get to know non-Muslims of the opposite sex. Most of us are segregated growing up and then when we start college or join the work force, we wind up keeping that distance from each other. For instance, Muslim girls are not even on my 17 y/o brother's radar. He hasn't spoken to a Muslim girl his age since he was six! He doesn't know any so he doesn't think about them. As far as he's concerned, outside of his family, they don't even exist. His friends are the same way. The Muslim girls at school don't talk to them and vice versa and they don't interact at youth functions. What's even sadder than that is that the brave few that do interact are always being accused of having some type of inappropriate relationship.

This could be a problem

2007-02-21T19:33:00.000-05:00

Houston, we have a problem. I'm spending way too much time around non-Muslims and as a result, I hardly know any Muslims (men or women). As my mother told me, I'm not putting myself in the path of "eligible brothers." I'm willing to concede that this is partially.....::sigh::......fine, mostly my fault. I know exactly what the problem is. Now I just have to correct it. I need to start going to the masjid and attending other Islamic functions. Correction: I am going to start attending Islamic functions and going to the masjid. And nobody mention MSA because I am far too old to be at MSA functions. I rarely go to the masjid because it's out of the way and it seems like I always have something else to do. It's funny because growing up I was Little Miss Masjid. I was all thick up in the youth group, I was always volunteering for something, and I spent part of almost every weekend there. If I wasn't doing something masjid related I was volunteering with CAIR or something else Islamic. I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that I haven't volunteered with any Muslim organizations in a long, long time. The main problem with this, in addition to the startling lack of Muslims in my life, is that I wind up hanging out with a bunch of non-Muslims. Now I'm not one of those people that feel they can't have non-Muslim friends, but, sometimes, it's nice to hang out with someone that gets it.

Of course, my mother continues to point out how unacceptable it would be to get "romantically involved" with a non-Muslim. Duh. That's so not going to happen. I've never given in to that particular temptation before so why would I start now? It's certainly far less acceptable at almost 25 than it was at 19. Besides, the whole mixing religions thing is far too complicated. Who needs the bother? Meanwhile, I'm thanking God she doesn’t know that one of the guys I volunteer with has asked me out twice. Naturally, I turned him down both times. It's too bad, really. He's beyond good-looking. Oh, well, he's not for me.

Sugar Daddy

2007-02-11T17:26:00.000-05:00

My younger sister feels that she needs an older husband to take care of her. And I'm talking seriously older, like 40-55. Before y'all start thinking she's a gold digger, she doesn't mean financially. She means he takes care of everything; pays the bills, fixes all problems or gets someone to fix them, handles household stuff, everything. She is kind of a mess. Despite being only 13 months younger than me, everyone has always treated her as if she's much younger. She's the baby girl. She doesn't cook, she doesn't clean, she can't handle stress, and she can't really take care of herself. I'm the most independent sibling and she's the least. Someone is always taking care of her and now she's convinced that she needs that for the rest of her life. She's got no shame about it; that's who she is. I mean, I know other women like her that have found nice older men to take care of them and it works out beautifully.

We're hoping that she'll get over it and lower the age requirement. In the meantime, she's into the online thing so my older sister and I were seeing what was out there in cyberspace. What should we come across but a sight called SugarDaddies.com. I'm talking serious sleaze here. Old men that appeared to be naked, "dominant dads" looking for "submissive daughters", ancient men looking for 22 year olds, all kinds of trash. It was terrible. However, we soldiered on and eventually came across a pretty decent site called Ageless Love or something like that. Who knows? Maybe she'll meet her distinguished Prince Charming online. Lord knows as picky as she is it'll be easier that way.

Moving On Up

2007-02-03T18:39:00.000-05:00

I might be getting a promotion. Okay, do y'all remember when I told you that my (acting) manager thought I would make a good manager? Well, she was only acting manager at my store because our manager was on medical leave. Long story short, the actual manager came back (can't stand her) and the other girl went back. Now she's getting her own store and she's being promoted to Director of Events for the entire district. She wants me to come to her store, work as a manager and as Assistant Director of Events. I would love the job but she has to speak with our District Manager first. If everything works out, I will be moving on up. I don't want to get my hopes up too much but I'm pretty excited about it. InshaAllah, everything will work out but please, please make dua for me. I really want this job. The store opens in April and, if I get the job, I'll start in March.

Why Now?

2007-01-31T21:33:00.000-05:00

People (older Muslim women) that have known me awhile keep asking me why I want to get married now. Today an old friend of my mom's called and when my mom told her she was looking, naturally she wanted to talk to me. She wanted to ask why now. I don't get that; it's not like I was ever against marriage. I just didn't want to be married while I was in college. I wanted to fully enjoy college without responsibilities. I did and now it's time for the next chapter in my life. I fail to see why this is a big deal. Yet, people keep harping on it. My personal favorite is "oh, you want a baby don't you?" Um, actually, not really. Not now anyway. Of course, I learned the hard way that saying that is not acceptable. Muslims don't want to hear that you aren't just chomping at the bit to procreate. So I just give a polite smile and say nothing. I figure it's better to do that than have it spread around that I'm some kind of a baby hater.

Why are people even asking a question like that? It's like at job interviews when they ask why, with my education, I want to work as a receptionist or administrative assistant. Why do you think? I need employment of some kind and I haven't found the job I really want so here I am. That, however, isn't an acceptable answer so I have to dig up an acceptable response. Same thing with this, I just pull out the most parent approved response; ::cue super innocent face:: I'm ready to settle down and, of course, fulfill half my deen. Then come the approving, maternal smiles and comments on how right and proper my attitude is. And, of course, how far I've come from that silly, gossipy girl. Yeah, I was like 15, let's move on.

Of course, no one wants the God honest truth, especially from a woman. One of my girlfriends is constantly saying that she's going to start telling people that virginity is over-rated so she's putting her's up for sale. The price is a $100k wedding and a European honeymoon. I've suggested she hold her tongue. Any response related to sex would be completely inappropriate; more so for a woman. Most people know that factors in with men, however, they are not willing to think about it when it comes to women. Our reasons for marriage are as follows; babies, security, babies, deen, and babies. Any hints at romance gain you a lecture on the harsh realities of marriage and getting some is a non-issue. This is fine because some things are not meant to be discussed in polite society. But why ask? You must know you won't get the whole truth so just let sleeping dogs lie. I just don't know why people insist on asking questions when they don't really want the answer.

Eww!

2007-01-31T09:27:00.000-05:00

Alright, this morning I was on Craigslist and I found the following advertisement in the employment section.

Looking for a Girl Who Will Let Me Rub Her Feet!! Willing to Pay!!

Will pay $10 per hour to any woman who will let me rub on her feet. Prefer Raleigh but will travel based on the circumstance. Flexible hours. If interested, please contact me as soon as possible.

Now that's a serious foot fetish. OMG, people are so freaky! I wonder what kind of woman is going to respond to this ad.

TMI

2007-01-29T23:01:00.000-05:00

Why do these things happen to me? Now, today I was in Target with my 10 y/o niece and we popped in the ladies room near the Pharmacy. You know, the one that only one person can use at a time. Well, when we got there, there was a wait. That's when the fun began. There was a woman in there creating all sorts of commotion. I'm talking shrieking, grunting, muttering to herself, and kicking the wall. Big M and I are trying not to laugh and she's doing all this mouthing and pantomiming. Next thing we know, this girl bursts out of the bathroom holding a pregnancy test and says, "I'm pregnant and I already have one." Um, TMI much? What is wrong with you? Why would you say that and in front of a child? Naturally, I don't know what to say so I just go, "um, congratulations." I mean, it seemed wrong to say "I'm sorry" or "that's unfortunate." That wouldn't be right no matter how she feels. But why are you telling me this? The worse part was that she worked there. She was in her uniform, taking a pregnancy test and telling people about it. Great. Oh, and even better? She was our cashier.

Why can't we be friends?

2007-01-27T22:13:00.000-05:00

Recently, I received an AIM from an old, former friend. He was a nice guy but we had to stop hanging out. I can't remember who fell for whom first or if we tumbled in together but it happened. He wasn't a Muslim so I just couldn't allow myself to go there. For that reason, I was content to keep my feelings to myself but he didn’t have that self-restraint. We tried to be friends after the big reveal but things were never the same. Eventually, we just drifted apart because neither one of us wanted to officially say that we couldn't be friends. There were the occasional IMs but things weren't the same. By the time six or so months had passed; we had completely stopped contacting each other. His recent message was full of warm, fuzzy reminisces. I was glad my away message was on. It would have been a nice trip down memory lane but not one we needed to take together.

There's a reason we're not friends anymore; it wasn't good for either of us. He was in love with me, I was halfway in love with him, and we couldn't (I wouldn’t) do anything about it. There's no need to be in that situation. It's best to just walk away. My foolish, young heart couldn't stand the thought of hurting him by constantly being around him and I didn't want to deal with it either so I let communication lapse. As for now, I just don't see a reason for us to reconnect. While I no longer have feelings for him; there's no need for us to relive the past. It happened and we've both moved on. Sure, we could chat online every so often but there's really no point.

I guess that's harsh but it's true, IMO. There are some people that I just feel don't need to keep in my life or let reenter my life. Former romantic entanglements are those people. There are people that can remain friends with their exes; they even prefer it. I am not one of those people. I am not a "let's be friends" kind of girl. If we started out as friends; things seem to be weird afterwards. If we didn't start as friends; what's the point? This is hurtful for a lot of people but if your relationship has ended, you have the right to not want to be around that person. It's not necessarily saying anything against the ex; you just can't be around them right now, maybe not ever. It could be that they're a constant reminder of a foolish mistake or a period in your life you would rather forget. It could be that contact with you, even hearing about you, reopens that wound. As much as it may bother you; there's really nothing you can do but accept it.

One of my sorority sisters was obsessed with being friends with all of her exes. By junior year she had this string of ex-boyfriends/pseudo friends that she kept in touch with. Then she has the nerve to wonder why she can't keep a boyfriend. No one wants to deal with all of that baggage you're dragging behind you. That's not cool and that's exactly what a bunch of exes turned friends are; baggage. You can try to dress it up but the plain truth is that you're just dragging your past around with you like an oversized weekender. Even if it's fine with you, think of how awkward it is for your significant other. Here you are reliving the good ole days with some ex-flame while simultaneously trying to cultivate this new relationship. I'm no psychologist but I just don't think that's conducive to a healthy relationship. Of course, there are exceptions; like the old friend you briefly dated but in general, it's just not a good idea.

Good Intentions

2007-01-25T23:13:00.000-05:00

Okay, so reading all these posts on virginity, temptation, double standards, and whatnot has reminded me of something from my college days. Something that, post college, I warned my younger, Muslimah (play) cousin about. The Muslim brother with the "good intentions." I don't know how many of you ladies have met this man but he's a liar. This is the brother that gets all close to you and keeps telling you he's going to speak to your father, uncle, brother, whatever but keeps procrastinating about it. At the same time, he's trying to get in your pants or as close to it as possible. Now, as you may have guessed, I've had dealings with this type of guy. Fortunately, I was smart enough to avoid falling into his trap. I met A (sorry, I'm not good with clever nicknames) Sophomore year of college. I had to have him. He was a friend of a friend and said friend thought he was a "good, solid brother." In hindsight, he wasn't the best judge of character or the best of men. But whatever, that's a story for another time. Moving on. I wasn't the only girl that had a thing for him. A so-called friend wanted him too. I will admit that as a pretty and naive girl, used to getting what I wanted, I didn't consider her real competition. My mistake. A and I started hanging out at school, talking to each other on the phone, etc. We kept it kosher. Both of us being from "good" families, friends started asking the normal questions and I was wondering myself. He claimed he was going to speak with my uncle. In the meantime, why didn't we hang out without all these other people around. And so it went. Around and around. Him always trying to get me alone with him (usually at his place, Mr. BMOC) and me reminding him that he hadn't yet spoken with my uncle, or anyone in my family. The whole time, of course, Miss Thang is hanging around with her fast tail. Eventually, he stops calling me and I hear that they've hooked up. She paraded around smug for a few weeks and then it was over. He was asking my friends why I wasn't speaking to him, etc. They basically told him where to get off and over the summer we both got over it. He transferred to VA Tech and I never saw or heard from him again.
My point is this; he didn't have single good intention towards me. He wanted only one thing and when he didn't get it; he moved on. He got it from another young sister and then cast her aside. He'll marry someones virgin daughter and, in the meantime, people still talk about her and how she was always no good. No, she wasn't, but it takes two to tango. He's even more worthless because he's deceitful. He's (or was) a cad, a rake, a jerk, a bastard. Whatever you want to call it, that's him. I wouldn't have had him back for all of the money in the world because he had no respect for me or any other Muslim woman. He found it perfectly acceptable to lie in order to get what he wanted and that's unacceptable. Unfortunately, he's not the only one. A former friend of mine also tried this scam on an unsuspecting sister. Always going on about his good intentions when he didn't have any. She was smart so she got off easy. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen often. You tell a fairly innocent girl that it's okay because you're getting married anyway and she might believe you. She's foolish to believe it but it happens.
It's cruel to use women like this, especially Muslim women. It's not necessary to ruin an innocent young sisters life; because that's basically what happens. Word gets out and everyone acts like she's the biggest whore in town. They don't want to know the truth; that their precious son used and misled an innocent girl. She's a victim (of his duplicity and her stupidity and naivete) and he's a victimizer. It's a big, bitter pill for the Muslim community to swallow but until we start holding our sons as accountable as we hold our daughters, this kind of stuff will continue to happen. In the meantime, it's up to those of us that know to warn our younger sisters and guide our younger brothers.

I'm back!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-20T15:16:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all! Guess who's back? I'm so excited. It's been so long. I feel so out of the loop. It's going to take me a little while to catch up on what's been going on with everyone. I don't even know where to start with myself. It's not that anything major has happened, it's just that I haven't shared with y'all in so long. It's been like over a month.

Alright, first and foremost, I will soon be turning 25(Lord, take me now). My birthday is in March. In light of that, people have felt compelled to warn me that I am on my way to being a spinster. Great times. That's always good news. Really. It warms my heart. My great-grandmother told me over the holidays that I really need to get married soon because once I'm older I can "hang it up." "You don't want to be some tired old spinster, girl." You think? No, my life's goal is to be a dried up old maid. Fortunately, she's old, really old, so I don't pay her much attention. But everybody else is trying to weigh in on it. My mother, however, was "helpful" enough to, again, tell me that a lot of people don't marry until well into their 30s. Hmmm, yes, that's lovely. Really.

The sad part is, I'm not even hating being single right now. I'm kind of enjoying it. There are other things I'm trying to accomplish, albeit not at the expense of my love life. I mean, it's not like I'm sitting around some tired soon to be spinster. I'm trying to establish a career, get more involved in the community, etc. Of course, I have been warned (only by the older ladies) against seeming too busy. Apparently, no man wants a woman that doesn't have time for him. Meanwhile, it's not like my hours can be filled by waiting for Mr. Right to fall into my lap. I do have to do something. Of course, the truth of the matter is, most men don't want a woman whose entire life is him. It's very clingy.

Anyway, in the meantime, it's about the career. I can't stand the fact that my college education is going to such total waste. I mean, temping and retail? This is totally unacceptable. Since temping is keeping me as poor as a church mouse and I hate it, we're done with that. I'm only keeping the retail job for my discount, it's 40%. I'm now back to job hunting. As soon as I find a full-time job that can be my bread and butter, I'm going to start doing freelance event planning. One of my New Years resolutions was to take control of my life and that's what I'm doing.

Hiatus

2007-01-06T21:02:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. I'm having internet issues so I can't blog because I can't use my computer. It sucks and it's killing me. I may not survive using my mom's computer. We have wireless internet and her computer is the host so for some reason, it's the only one getting service. Anyway, I'm hoping (and praying) that this situation will be fixed sooner rather than later. InshaAllah, I'll be back soon. I have lots to talk about. In the meantime, I hope everyone had a fabulous holiday.

See ya soon!

Happy Holidays

2006-12-23T11:59:00.000-05:00

Hey, y'all! I just wanted to say Happy Holidays to everyone. I'm going to be pretty busy so I won't be posting until after New Year's. Everyone have a fabulous holiday and I'll see you in 07!

untitled

2006-12-13T19:45:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all! Gosh, I can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged. I've had a lot going on recently, which I won't blog about because some of it is work related (I would never blog about work) and the rest is kind of confidential. I will, however, blog about something rather ridiculous that happened to me recently.

As I told y'all, I am working in a clothing store (how a college educated woman with so much promise wound up working retail is beyond me but that's for another time). So I'm building a wardrobe for this customer and we're chatting and whatnot. Out of the clear blue she tells me that I'm such a nice young lady and I would be perfect for her son. Who just so happens to be a Muslim.......that converted in jail. Great times. She tells me that he's not a bad guy; he just got in with the wrong crowd and fell into some trouble. All he needs is the right woman to help him turn it all around.

Now I have several issues with this mentality. First of all, no one would want their "good" son to get involved with a questionable girl. So why would you think it's appropriate for a perfectly decent girl to attempt to reform so loser/criminal/whatever? Not cool. Second of all, where do you get the audacity to approach a random stranger or even someone you hardly know with this garbage? Third of all (yes, I'm taking it there), what's with all the excuses? Grown men don't "fall in with the wrong crowd." And if they do, that's their problem. As an adult, you know right from wrong and should act accordingly or be prepared to face the consequences.
As you may or may not have guessed, this is not my first run in with someone like her. She is the third stranger to tell me I would be good for some troubled male relative. There have also been some friends of the family that have said I would be good for their sons. I could help them get their lives on track, etc. I'm sorry; I'm not your mother or a therapist. I have no interest in helping some grown man get his life together. If you want a chance with me, you better already have it together. Furthermore, if I didn't have my stuff together; no one would want their son to come anywhere near me. As far as I'm concerned, that attitude goes both ways.

I told this presumptuous cow that I had no interest in her son or anyone else with a criminal or otherwise questionable background and that it was incredibly presumptuous and beyond rude of her to even mention such a thing to me. She got offended and told me to come off of my high horse. After all, I'm only working in a clothing store. No she did not go there, no this trick did not just go there. I gave her the coldest look and said in my haughtiest tone, "I'll have you know, not only do I have a college education, I graduated with honors (a bold-faced lie) from a very good university. I am working here for the discount and a little extra pin money. I suggest that you worry less about where I'm working and more about why your son is a criminal. Since you clearly have no clue as to how to behave, I suggest you start by looking in the mirror." Then she's all "you have nerve" and "I won't be spending a dime you your store." I just gave her a look that clearly said I couldn't care less and she put her stuff down and left. I don't care, she presumed far too much and she needed to be put in her place.

Update

2006-11-27T15:28:00.000-05:00

I'm back. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving (or vacation if you don't celebrate).
I know everyone is wondering so I'll just get right to it. He won't do. He simply will not do.
Here's what happened:

I shopped on Friday but I didn't buy anything new to wear for this. I decided against that. I just wore the black wide-leg trousers, a pale pink sweater, a matching hijab, and pearl jewelry. I also decided against going through a lot of trouble with the baking. I just made a marbled bundt cake. I'm glad. It totally would have been a wasted effort. I suspected as much when I saw him at the door but I didn't want to rush to judgment. Ten minutes later, I knew I was right.
He totally acted like he didn't want to be there, like it was all just a big bother. His clothes were kinda wrinkled and he had this general unkempt look, which I totally don't go for. He was wearing chinos that looked like they needed to be washed and ironed and an oxford that needed to be ironed. Sweetie, have a little pride in your appearance. Okay, fine. I guess that can be worked with. A lot of guys need a little nudge in the wardrobe department. There's no need to be "overly picky." Unfortunately, it just got worse. I offered him tea, he asked for coffee. No one in my house drinks coffee so I had to tell him that we don't have coffee. He actually had the nerve to roll his eyes. His conversational skills were practically non existent. I had to drag every response out of him. Example:
What to do you? (I already knew this but he didn't know that)
IT. (that's it......no further details.)
Really? Do you like it?
Does it matter?
Well, of course. I would hate having a job I didn't enjoy.
::dead silence::
Well....What do you like to do in your spare time?
Just.....stuff.
**flash most charming smile** Well of course, but what kind of stuff? Maybe we do the same "stuff."
Mabye.
**waiting, waiting**
Do you like to travel?
Not really.
Oh.
InshaAllah, I'm going skiing in January. Have you ever been skiing?
Um....no.
Have you read any good books recently? I just finished The Last Wife of Henry VIII. It was fascinating.
::blank look::
It's about Catherine Parr, the sixth wife of King Henry VIII of England. She's the only one that survived marriage to him and it's about her life before, during, and after their marriage.
::Hmm::
How was your Thanksgiving?
Fine.
Good.
Yep.
Would you like another slice of cake?
::head nod::

Yeah, that about covers it. There was a little more one sided conversation and whatnot but this was pretty much it. I won't say he was completely rude, even though it seems like it. He was more socially awkward. I mean he kept clearing his throat, like he had this tic or something. He mumbled and kept his eyes averted most of the time. I wasn't sure if he was looking away out of respect or because he was nervous. It was just very trying. I mean, talking to him was like pulling teeth. He never even asked me one thing! Clearly, he had no interest in me or perhaps the entire marriage business. I don't know and it's irrelevant to me. I can go the rest of my life without ever seeing him again. I mean, it's one thing to be shy but another to be so socially inept that you're borderline rude. Also, his table manners were seriously questionable. He ate that cake like it was going to sprout legs and walk away. And he chewed with his mouth open. Ew. So wrong. I could never be married to someone that couldn't carry on a conversation and had bad manners.

My mother was not impressed. She thought his behavior was appalling and that he showed an obvious lack of home training.

At least I tried. No one can say I didn't try.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

2006-11-22T19:50:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all! I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving. I won't be posting tomorrow or probably at all until like next week. My mom will be holding me (and the rest of us - minus my brother) hostage in the kitchen tomorrow. We've actually started some of the cooking tonight. The sweet potatoes are being baked for the pies, the bread is being toasted for the stuffing, and the cornbread (also for stuffing) will be going into the oven soon. Tomorrow, my niece (Big M) and I will get up and watch the Macy's parade like we do every year. Then we'll watch the dog show with my mom. It's one of our traditions. Another tradition is having Thanksgiving with family but that's not happening this year. We have to go to VA next week so we're not making the trip this week. InshaAllah, we'll host everyone here next year.

Friday, we're hitting the sales. Well, I'm only hitting a few because I have to work all day (stinking retail). At least I don't open or close.

Saturday, I am meeting with a prospect. We're meeting at my house so I've got to clean and bake something. Shouldn't be a problem but I can't decide what to make. He's American so I know he won't want any more pie after Thanksgiving. I could make cookies but they don't show off my fabulous baking skills. They really are fabulous but cookies just don't do them justice. That being said, I don't want to seem show-offy (such a non-word) by making something really fancy. I'm also trying to avoid making anything super sweet or heavy, which kind of rules out a frosted cake (one of my specialties). I'm thinking of making either mini fruit tarts, a coffee cake, or a bundt cake. I'm strongly leaning towards bundt as I write this but that could change. And yes, I know that I'm over thinking this but it's about more than a good impression. I hate to put people in the position of either declining my cooking or having to eat something they don't want or like. There's no avoiding it sometimes but I try.
Another problem I'm having (ladies this is for you) is what to wear. I'm going through this thing right now where I hate everything in my closet. It's because I haven't gone shopping in a while. I do need/want some new stuff but I have tons of really nice clothes. I know this. Still, that doesn't stop me from having a closet full of nothing to wear. Here's the what's going on:
All of my fall skirts are short (like mid-calf) because I wear them with boots. I can't do that in the house; we don't wear our shoes inside.
I only have two fall/winter dresses that aren't too dressy. I have tons of spring/summer dresses. One of them is a basic black dress and the other is really cute but short (mid-calf again). I'm not really crazy about wearing the back with the pearls and whatnot. It's giving me a dowdy vibe. I could wear it with super trendy jewelry but it doesn't seem to work without the cute boots to punch it up.
Next up, we have trousers. I've got really nice black widelegs (like three pairs) from a French catalog. I'm thinking of wearing them with either a cream turtleneck or my grey twinset. It's very ladylike, and I do look great in the trousers. But I just feel like maybe it's boring. **NOTE**One of my girlfriends keeps telling me that nothing in my closet is boring or dowdy so I should stop the madness. She says my style is "very Anne Hathway in the Princess Diaries 2."**
Anyway, I've lost a little weight so both pairs of tan trousers are too big (they're both from Gap). I think my red trousers are too flashy (my mom would die if I wore those). My navy trousers could work but the hem came out of one leg so they're out. I mean, I'm sure my mom can fix them on Friday but I'm still, eh, about them. I've had my eye on these gorgeous cream trousers that I think would be so cute with either my red turtleneck or this plum twinset that I so want. I'm also looking at these grey widelegs with silver pinstripes. I want to wear them with a hot pink turtleneck. That'd be so, so cute. And yes, I have a huge thing for turtlenecks. I also love twinsets and pearls (perhaps, I'm a little prissy). Moving on.... for the last two outfits, I would have to buy something new and that seems so superficial. I mean, what I'm going to buy a new outfit every time? I couldn't possibly. But I really want to this time. It's a combination of wanting to look good and really wanting new clothes. It's really difficult because don't want to wear anything too trendy. I always like to start out with the updated classics. It's my best look. Anyway, we'll see but I think the grey and pink ensemble is calling me.

About the guy:
He's the son of a friend of one of my mom's friends. Said friend is kind of sponsoring us into society down here (where to go, who to know, etc.) so I kind of have to meet him. He sounds like a nice guy and this is the first guy I'm meeting down here. I'm kinda nervous, which is making me really chatty. Hopefully, I won't talk to much in front of him. I did that once; it was the first time I did anything like this. I was super nervous and I talked too much and scared him off. I haven't done it since but "since" has only been two other times. So here's goes nothing.........

Marriage of Convenience

2006-11-19T19:55:00.000-05:00

Okay so on Friday, something really bizarre happened. There is this Arab Muslim lady that works in our local Target. Well, my family and I went in there on Friday evening and she starts talking to my mom about how her and her family (minus a 20something son) came over here from wherever almost five years ago. He couldn't come over because he was 21 and apparently if you're 21+, you've got to find your own way into the US. So she starts asking my mom all about me and my sister and talking about how we seem like such nice girls. Awww.....not so much. She starts asking specifically about me and if I'm single, what I do, etc. Then she proceeds to tell my mom that she's looking for someone to marry her son and sponsor him into the country. WTH?! This cow tells my mom that she's willing to pay us for the trouble and that the marriage will only last a little while. After which we are both free to move on. So, of course, my mom gets completely pissed off. Not only could she not believe the audacity of this woman but my family is super sensitive about the whole immigration thing after my sister's first marriage. He only wanted a Green Card and no one knew that. Anyway, my mom went off on her. Told her that she should be ashamed of herself; temporary marriage is wrong in Islam and marrying someone for money in exchange for getting them into the country is a crime. She threatened to report her. She asked her where she got her nerve, we weren't some dirt poor family that she could take advantage of. We didn't need or want her money. She told her however her son gets over here is not her problem and she doesn't care if he never makes it over here. Go mom! My mom totally rocks. You should never try to mess with her or her family. She's totally going to come after you. I just don't know where people get their nerve. I mean, she's hardly ever spoken to us. Frankly, my sisters and I avoided her because we thought she seemed a little off. How right we were. Not only is she off, she's a CRIMINAL. A wannabe criminal anyway. Which is just as bad.
Oh, the things that happen to my family. We are weirdness magnets.

Princess Perky

2006-11-17T12:57:00.000-05:00

That's what one of my co-workers called me yesterday. Awesome. I kinda bounced into work and she was like, "well if it isn't Princess Perky." I just started laughing. Some people can't take perk in the morning, or any other time of the day. Too bad, so sad. Then said she wanted to hate me but she couldn't. "You're so damn friendly." I'm loving it. Like what else am I going to be? I don't know anyone well enough to dislike them. I'm friendly until I'm given a reason not to be. This is my first week there and so far, so good. It's a women's clothing store (second job to hold me over between temp assignments) and the customers really seem to like me. So does the manager. She thinks I'm sunny. She asked if I've ever considered being a manager. Oooh. I'm going to talk to her about it because I'd rather do that than temp while I get started in event planning. I'm so over temping.

You're enough to make a brother forget he's supposed to lower his gaze.

2006-11-09T23:30:00.000-05:00

So I was going to post about this really fabu memoir I read and how more non-famous people should write them. Instead, I'm going to post about something that happened to me the other day. But before I do, I just want to say I don't know how or why this kind of stuff happens to me but it does. Here goes.........

Okay so I was in the "Muslim" part of Raleigh, which is near NC State University. There are all the usual suspects; cafes, shops, etc. I go into one store (a grocery w/ deli counter) and as I'm looking for this spice a brother comes up to me and says: "You know sister, you really ought to cover a little more. You're enough to make a brother forget he's supposed to lower his gaze. All that beauty (i.e. booty) shouldn't be on display." Cue open mouth and (mildly) shocked look. "Excuse me?" (said with much attitude)
"I'm just saying, if I was your husband, I'd be tempted to keep you veiled or at home."
"Yes, well, you're not my husband."
"Do you have one?"
"If you'll excuse me, I have shopping to finish."
"InshaAllah, I'll see you around." (this was said with a little smirk that I didn't care for at all)

Awww, sweetie, what led you to believe that this would be cute? Does your brain not filter things properly?

"Veiled or at home?" WTH???!!! I mean, get real. Now, I'm a hijabi. I may not wear an abaya but I do cover (somewhat). I wear jeans and other such but nothing really tight, nothing low, nothing sheer. In short, I'm leaving plenty to the imagination. Now granted I'm a curvy girl (a Beyonce build) and our shape shows a little (a lot) more, but I wasn't all out there. I was wearing a cream colored turtleneck sweater and Levi's. Neither one was tight. Close fitting but not tight. I didn't even have my jeans tucked into my boots. Now I'm pretty, I'll admit it. I could be better but I could be worse....a lot worse. Some days, I'm a knock out ;). My girlfriends tell me I'm sexy. I don't see it but Lord knows men have been seeing it since I was 13. However, there would never be a need to keep me locked in the house. I mean, really. I'm sure this was his weak, very weak, attempt at flirting but it just didn't do it for me. I wanted to be charmed and flattered but it just wasn't happening. Maybe I was too hard on the brother but there was just something smarmy about him.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2006-11-05T15:56:00.000-05:00

Apparently, down here in Raleigh, Christmas starts early. Right after Halloween in fact. I found that out the day after Halloween. There I was cruising down 70 and I switch on the radio. What do I hear but Sunny 93.9 playing "Do You Hear What I Hear". Um, why? So I'm thinking it's a fluke. This can't be right. So I wait for the next song......"Jingle Bell Rock." Hmmm.....this isn't going as planned. I thought the regular music would start back up. Not so much. In fact, a lovely little announcement came over the radio saying that they've kicked off the holiday season. They will now be playing all of our favorites....24/7. Great times. As the day wore on and I flipped through other stations, most of them were playing at least some Christmas music. At least three of them are playing it all of the time. Like non-stop. The stores, malls, plazas, etc. have all of their decorations up.

Hello? It's the beginning of November. What's going on here? Is this happening anywhere else? In VA, at least the part I'm from, the decorations and music don't start until the day after Thanksgiving. I loved that. It was like an official kick off to the holiday season. A little "fall's over" memo for the general population. Now, I've got nothing against the holidays, in fact, I love the holiday season. I love the music, the shopping, the good cheer, all of it....even the crowds (for the most part). It just feels like we just jumped from summer to winter. Only, the weather says it's fall. It's like the vibe is winter but the weather is screaming fall. I'm so confused! LOL I want to be in fall mode but holiday vibes keep creeping in. Yesterday, I found myself singing along to Christmas Shoes by Newsong. That is a serious Christmas song. Hey, if you can't be 'em, join 'em.

But as much as I love the holidays, it's a bittersweet time. It signals the end of the year is near and there's so much I wanted to do that I haven't done. I mean, Lord, I don't even have a real job yet. Plus, and I do try not to whine about this but it's a fact, I hate being single during the holiday season. As much as I love the holiday parties, family dinners, celebrations, and even shopping; I hate doing it alone. I'm tired of being asked when I'm going to bring someone home for the holidays and if I'm bringing someone to the company party. I want to be in love with someone that loves me too, I want........well, I could go on and on but I won't. Being single (for Muslims especially) sucks but I don't believe in dwelling. It just brings you down. This year, like in the past, I refuse to allow the fact that I'm ::sigh:: alone (at least in the romantic sense) ruin my mood. Besides, the new year brings new beginnings. Another reason to love the season ;).

P.S. Before anyone gets all up in arms, I don't celebrate Christmas. But because my parents converted, most of my relatives are non-Muslims.

Sanctimonious Sue

2006-10-31T17:41:00.000-05:00

Lord help me now. My niece, Big M, has become a Sanctimonious Sue and it's driving me crazy. Her big thing right now is the plight of little people (dwarfs as she insists we call them despite the fact that "little people" is a PC term) and people with various deformities. She's always watching specials on Discovery about little people, children born without faces, conjoined twins, and all sorts of other things that I just don't have the stomach for. I can barely stand the sight of blood, much less any of this other stuff. I understand that she wants to be a doctor and she finds this stuff interesting but there's just no need for the attitude. I mean, her little sister made a face and she went off. She tells her mother that she should stop her from making faces like that because there are people that are born disfigured and it's important to teach her not to make fun of them. She's a baby! She doesn't know what she's doing. A few days ago one of my sisters said her short, obnoxious co-worker was a midget with a Napoleon complex. Off went Big M on one of her rants about little people and how dwarfism is very serious and nothing to be joked about. Then came a lecture on the various forms of dwarfism. If that's not bad enough she's always trying to force us to watch these specials. She will put the same show on every television in the house. I've lost track of how many times I've had to tell her not to touch the television in my room.

I don't even have hope that she'll grow out of it because my younger sister went through a similar phase and she's still going through it. She will just lecture you to death and try to force her views on you. I refuse to be drawn into these conversations with her. I mean, there are things that I'm passionate about but there's a fine line between expressing your views and harassing people. I'm trying to teach that to M but I don't think she's there yet.

It amazes me how she can be so shallow and yet so caring about the plight of others. She's such a complex child. I don't want complex children. They're too much trouble

Eid Mubarak!

2006-10-23T15:01:00.000-04:00

I hope everyone that celebrates it is having a fabulous Eid! I'm trying to get through my first Eid away from all of my peeps in VA :(. Not really. It's a different experience but it's not bad. I will say this though, Eid and Ramadan are not as nice down here as they are in VA. I think it's because the masjids are smaller so they aren't doing things on as grand a scale. But at least they're doing something and I give tons of points for trying.
Now I'm off to bake cupcakes with Big M......she's trying to hold me hostage in the kitchen.

Seven Things

2006-10-12T19:48:00.000-04:00

Alright y'all, I'm doing this for my blogsister TwennyTwo and because I think it's really cool.

Seven things I hope to do before 30 (InshaAllah):
1. Get Married
2. Travel to England, France, Italy, and Greece
3. Learn to speak Arabic and French (I've studied both.)
4. Perfect a signature look
5. Start my own wedding planning business
6. Learn to ski (I can't and I really want to.)
7. Be debt free....for the most part

Seven things I can't do:
1. Lie (I'm so horrible at it, it's not even funny.)
2. Draw (all of my siblings can)
3. Math (How did I graduate?)
4. Get depressed (there have been times I should have been but it's like I just can't)
5. Give the silent treatment
6. Forget
7. Stay angry

Seven things I love:
1. My family
2. Romance novels
3. Chick flicks
4. Southern men
5. Weddings
6. British accents
7. Dessert

Seven things I want in a spouse (maybe if I put it out there, I'll get it ;) )
1. Religious but not in an extreme or sanctimonious way
2. Good looking (I know, I'm shallow)
3. Considerate
4. Family oriented
5. Smart
6. Strong
7. Romantic

Seven movies I'll never stop loving:
1. Breakfast at Tiffany's
2. An Affair to Remember
3. Pride and Prejudice
4. Barefoot in the Park
5. Pretty Woman
6. Father of the Bride
7.The Notebook

Seven authors I love:
1. Jane Austen
2. Brenda Joyce
3. Eloisa James
4. Lori Foster
5. Candace Camp
6. Sophie Kinsella
7. Marne Davis Kellogg

Seven stores I can't resist:
1. Coach
2. Tiffany's
3. Sephora
4. Bath and Body Works
5. Pottery Barn
6. Things Remembered
7. Brookstone

Annie Vision

2006-10-12T16:54:00.000-04:00

For those of you not in the know, Annie Vision is all Annie all the time. Annie the movie, that is. Little M, all of 20 months old, has taken to watching Annie all day everyday. Yes, it's as bad as you imagine.....maybe even a little worse. The entire household now knows every song and most scenes by heart, including the scene with the Camille movie clip. Little M sings and dances her way through the entire movie. Then she sings and dances some more when it's over. Good times. She watches this movie about three or four times a day, everyday. Some days she doesn't even want to leave the house because she's watching Annie. You try putting something else on and she turns off the TV and screams for Annie. I'm so glad the portable DVD player is broken because the only time we get a break from Annie is in the car. Words cannot express how sick I am of this movie. Hopefully, she'll be ready to move on soon. Or I'll have a job and by the time I get home, she'll be her mother's responsibility. I guess I've just gotta hang on till tomorrow.
:)

Hooray for Fall!

2006-10-08T17:09:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited. It's finally chilly down here. I'm talking mid to low 60s all weekend. I can finally wear my sweaters and boots. Yay! I mean, it's raining but I don't care because it's not hot. I absolutely love fall. The weather, the fashions, the festivals, all of it. It's the best time of year. Unfortunately, during the week the temperature is shooting back up to the 80s. But it's supposed to be chilly again on the weekend so, yay! I'd like to take a scenic drive this fall but no one else seems to be up to it :(. I really must get a car.

The way you start out........

2006-10-02T18:58:00.000-04:00

Is the way you'll finish. That's what my grandmother used to say. And she was right.

A girl I know is getting married, mashaAllah, but it's not off to a good start. All of the things she's always wanted, he can't currently give her and has encouraged her to put off until later. He can't afford a wedding, so they're not having one. They're just going straight from Nikah to living together. They can't even have a honeymoon. He swears they'll have them later but that almost never happens. He can't afford her Mahr so he's going to pay it in installments, sometime in the future. I'm thinking (and so is her mother) that bills and stuff are going to get in the way and she's never going to see it. I mean, I don't know how much he's supposed to be giving her but paying it in an undetermined amount of installments doesn't seem right. There's other stuff too but these are the big ones. I mean, she's young (like two years younger than me) and it just seems like she's sacrificing a lot of things. He, of course, is not sacrificing anything. I don't think that bodes well for the future of their marriage. Marriage is a two way street and when one person starts out making all of the sacrifices things probably aren't going to improve. Besides, you really shouldn't have to sacrifice so much in the beginning. I could be wrong but I have a bad feeling about this.

The countdown is on

2006-09-20T20:37:00.000-04:00

Well folks, it's almost Ramadan and I am actually starting to get excited. I've signed up to volunteer at the mosque during iftaar and I'm volunteering with a Muslim women's clinic. Now I'm starting to feel like a productive member of society again. I can't go to tarweeh during the week but I'm going every weekend........no excuses. Also, like every Ramadan, I'm trying to swear off bad behaviors and such. I'm giving up romance novels (I really don't have much time to read for pleasure during Ramadan anyway) and gossip. More importantly, I'm going to work on not letting people push my buttons as much. I may not say much to the person but I'm cursing you out in my mind and that just won't work during Ramadan. My goal is to ignore, ignore, ignore. Hopefully, this will carry over into post-Ramadan life. Wish me luck!

Home Sweet Home

2006-09-18T22:04:00.000-04:00

I'm so glad to be back home. It's funny but in the last few months, Raleigh has become home. On the way back it hit me, I felt like a visitor the entire time. There are all of these changes that I didn't know about and no one mentioned to me, for obvious reasons. Changes have been made to my old stomping grounds (Mason). I didn't even have time to see everything. Hopefully, I'll have time for a good look around when we go back for Thanksgiving. Fortunately, the trip wasn't as bad as anticipated so going back for Thanksgiving is an option for me. Here's what happened in a nutshell:

PROS
Got my granola bars from Wegman's (This may seem like a small thing but I love them and they are a convenient and healthy snack. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find them anywhere down here.)

Got to see the family and all engagement rings up close and personal.

Now that my uncle's fiance has moved in, the house is totally put together. There were even enough beds for all of us. Good times.

Didn't have to deal with too much drama.

The dogs had so much fun playing together.
(wow is that it?)

CONS
Drama the minute we walked in the door (We got there late, my uncle wanted the dogs to go outside but our dogs are indoor dogs. There was much drama and lots of me and my sisters talking about how we wanted to and should have stayed at a hotel. It was so bad even my mom was thinking about leaving the very next day. Drama.)

Was forced to swap rooms with Little Sis and wound up sharing a bed with mom. Of course, the joke was on her because her bed was super uncomfortable and mine was a comfy, king sized bed. Also the room had tons of nice accommodations and hers was just bare bones. Serves her right for trying to be a brat in the middle of the night.

Didn't get to see one of my cousins (she flaked as usual).

Didn't get to see any so-called friends (ditto).

InshaAllah, next time we'll stay in a hotel and I'll be able to rent a car of my own. I'm not deluded enough to think I'll have my own car by the time Thanksgiving rolls around. For that, I would need a steady job.

On the road again

2006-09-13T21:28:00.000-04:00

That's folks, we are hitting the road again. Actually, it's been awhile since we last went to VA. It is, however, our first trip with the dogs. Oh, let the good times roll. Already it's been a logistical nightmare so I can't wait to see what will happen when we hit the road tomorrow. In all honesty, I'm not even looking forward to the trip that much. I don't know why but I'm not. I think it's just because there's already been so much drama anticipating the trip, I'm expecting more. InshaAllah, it'll be fine but I just can't muster up much excitement. Whatever. I'm going to try to enjoy my last weekend before Ramadan. We'll see how it goes. In the meantime, you won't be hearing from me as I will have little to no internet access. I'll be lucky to check my email. We'll be back on Sunday so I'll talk to y'all then.

Remember

2006-09-11T21:18:00.000-04:00

Instead of posting about myself, I'd like to dedicate this day to all of the victims and hero's of 9/11 (including the little ones and the four-legged ones). You are loved, you are missed, and we will never forget. I could have lost my big sister that day but due to the grace of God I didn't. Others were not so lucky. My heart goes out to the friends and families left behind. Please, everyone, take the time to remember those that lost their lives in those attacks, as well as the aftermath. Let's stop the hate and start the healing. United we stand, divided we fall.
God Bless America.

P.S. I would have done this sooner but I havn't been home all day.

And so it begins

2006-09-01T14:24:00.000-04:00

The Eid madness has started. In light of the fact that Ramadan is later this month, Big M has come to me with a Eid list. A three page Eid list, complete with Coach items and a tiara. I got her a very nice tiara last year from Silver Dolphin in Springfield, VA. She would like a replica Miss Teen USA tiara this year but no one seems to make one. Of course, my sister/her mom hates the entire beauty pageant, prom, cheerleading, "I'm a princess" thing. She's very against it. My sister is so anti-girly things. She thinks it's all very shallow. Whatever. It's fun. I have no problems buying a tiara but really. The girl's handing an unemployed person a three page wish list that includes designer items. Not cool. I told her that I will happily buy a tiara and/or a Coach bag if I have a job and if I can't, no attitude. She agreed so I don't anticipate any problems. However, I have told her that she cannot add to her list unless she takes something off. My brother is completely different, he hasn't even thought about what he wants.

I can't even believe that it's time for Ramadan already. I'm so not ready. God, before I know it, it'll be during the summer. I really won't be able to handle that. Really. I wonder if it's wrong to hope that I'll be married and pregnant by that time? Obviously, I need to work on my deen. Wanting to be pregnant to get out of fasting is not cool.

My friend likes you

2006-08-25T23:59:00.000-04:00

That is what some fast-tail little girl said to my baby brother in PetSmart today. Her friend was a very scantily clad blond girl with too much make-up on. Not....gonna.....happen, sweetie. He is meant for a nice Muslim girl, not some hoochie in a very short skirt, a low cut tank, and too much make-up. I'm just glad she wasn't overly bold. I mean her and her friends were chatting up my nieces and older sister while sneaking looks. They thought they were soooo slick. Asking Big M if he was her brother, telling her how pretty she is and how cute her dogs is. All of this while fishing for info on my BABY BROTHER! Grrrr. My mom is so done. Her and Big Sis are losing it over this. I told them, this is only the beginning. And I know we'll see Miss Thang again. This isn't the first time we've seen her in PetSmart and it won't be the last. Although, to tell the truth, the entire thing is sort of funny after the initial shock wears off. I remember those days of "my friend thinks you're cute." Ahh, memories. Anyway, aside from her clothes she wasn't too bad. She was polite and pleasant to everyone, at least. Very pretty, too. Life is about to get very difficult. Towing the Muslim line is much harder for boys than girls, especially if they're good looking. Kid doesn't stand a chance.

Another One Bites the Dust

2006-08-18T20:05:00.000-04:00

My temp assignment had ended. Prematurely. It wasn't my fault and I can't say that I'll miss it. The job wasn't what the agency said it would be, it didn't pay well, and they threw far too much work at us for what they paid us. Anyway, the company decided to can the temps and hire internally instead. Now this means job-hunting........again. Oh, well, at least now I can find a better paying job.......inshaAllah.

We shared a moment that will last till the end....

2006-08-12T22:31:00.000-04:00

So today I had a James Blount "You're Beautiful" moment. In Target. I do so love the Target. It happened in the allergy meds aisle of Super Target (possibly my favorite store in the world). I walked past this guy and our gazes just locked on each other. And this is going to sound sooo corny but it was like a jolt went through me. Then he smiled, and said in this deep sexy voice "salaam alaikum." Naturally, I smiled, lowered the lashes, and responded in kind. Before anything else could be said, my sister comes rushing up to me, all "where have you been? I've been calling you. Are you ready to go?" By the time I turned back, he was gone. Double damn. Oh, well, it was nice moment.

And that, folks, is why I never leave the house without looking my best. My sisters were busy making fun of me for taking the time to get ready just to run errands but I bet this wouldn't have happened if I'd been out looking all double rough.

On another note, can I just say, I love running into real Muslim men. Not the brothers that don't speak to you or even really acknowledge your presence, either thinking they're being respectful or not wanting to be bothered. Or those non-Muslim men that give you the salaams in that trying to get in your pants tone while looking you up and down, often simultaneously licking their lips. Eww. No, not them. I love real Muslim brothers like the one I ran into today. The ones that are respectful but not afraid to acknowledge you.

The Ants Go Marching....Part Deux

2006-08-10T21:18:00.000-04:00

They're baaaack.

Okay, the ants not only migrated to other areas of the van.............they've also migrated into the house! Why is God punishing me?

Yesterday afternoon, Big M calls me into the kitchen to tell me there are ants on the counter. I'm thinking she's seen one ant and is being dramatic. Um......not so much. I get in there and there's like six ants on the counter. Okay, I can handle this. No. We look up and ants are SWARMING all over the cabinet and side of the microwave. We both screamed "Oh, my God!" Then I open the cabinet to see if there in there. And, of course, they are. All over the spices and everything else. Just nasty. I almost threw up. And that is not something that I do. We not only had to clean out the spice cabinet (and throw away tons of food), but the little buggers had migrated to most of the other cabinets as well. The only ones the weren't interested in were the dish cabinets. After everything was washed, the entire kitchen had to be sprayed down with Raid. Apparently, Big Sis brought something in from the van, left it on the counter, and a few ants turned into an obscene amount. I'm sooooooo done.

The ants go marching

2006-08-09T12:36:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, at the request of Big M, we cleaned out the car. Should have been simple but it wasn't. I took Little M's car seat out and set it on the ground, where I left it for an hour in all of it's crumb filled glory. I meant to vacuum it out along with the car but there was a bee incident and I never got around to it. Just in case you can't imagine what happened, let me share. I put the seat back in the car without looking at it, then I put the child in the seat so we could pick her mother up from work. We drove all the way to RTP (30 mins away), picked up her mom and headed to her doctor appointment. It wasn't until halfway there that my sister noticed that there were ANTS all over the car seat, and they had migrated to the floor and other areas of the van. Just TONS of little black ants. I'm like totally freaking out. I'm like, are they on the baby? She had to be stripped down and examined. We had to make sure they weren't in her diaper or anything. It was awful. Then we went to Harris Teeter to get a can of bug spray. Everything had to be taken out of the car, shaken out, and sprayed down. When we got home the car seat cover and some other baby items (including the diaper bag) had to be washed. My sister's all like, "duh, you can't put the car seat on the ground. It has food on it, the ants will converge." Why, why, why didn't I think of that? Clearly, I am horribly negligent and totally unfit to be a parent. I'm just glad Little M wasn't hurt or traumatized.

The Malti-Poo that wasn't

2006-08-02T20:45:00.000-04:00

Well, after all the money and all the waiting, it turns out the our very own Princess Lillian Grace is NOT a Malti-Poo. Indeed. According to Dr. McVet she doesn't seem to have any Maltese or Poodle in her. However, he does concede that it's hard to tell at such a young age. General consensus is that she's part Chihuahua.
The breeder (lying wench) denies that the dog is anything other than a Malti-Poo. "All of my Chihuahua's are fixed." Uh, huh....likely story. Grrr.......why do people have to lie? So we've been Googling non-stop and it looks like Lily is a Malchi.......a Maltese and Chihuahua mix. Of course she also kinda looks like a Westchi.....Maltese and Westie. Since the lying wench didn't have any Westie's we're going to go with Malchi but we can't be sure until she's older.
At least Austin is exactly what he's supposed to be. Is there no one you can trust?!

On the up side, I've got another temp assignment starting next week. Yay!! I'll have money again! Now if only I could find an Event Planning job. I'm starting to think that it's a lost cause. That and my love life but more on that later.

I'm telling you, it's fixed!

2006-07-24T16:24:00.000-04:00

I watched the Miss Universe pageant last night with a girlfriend and we're convinced it's fixed. There is just no possible way that Miss P.R. could have won otherwise. She wasn't as pretty or as well dressed as the others. We were really cheering for Miss USA and Miss Japan once it got to the top five. Not only did Miss Trashy Dress win the crown, she then proceeded to faint because her dress was too tight. Are you kidding me? Whose idea was it to tell that lie? I'm just so done with the entire thing.

Here We Go Again........

2006-07-14T21:11:00.000-04:00

Alright folks, I am unemployed.......again. My temp assignment has ended. I'm actually kind of sad about it, I really liked the girls I worked with. Of course, this also means that I must look for another job. Which is fast becoming my least favorite thing to do. On the other hand, this now means I've got time to do other things.......like read novels, work-out, and work my MK business. Mary Kay should keep me afloat until I find another gig. Although, the more I think about it, the sweeter it would be if I could just be a consultant instead of having a regular job. I think I would miss having co-workers and office gossip. Wish me luck, I need that free car!

The Marrying Game

2006-07-06T21:46:00.000-04:00

So I just finished reading this book called "The Marrying Game" by Kate Saunders. It's really quite entertaining. It's about four 20-something sisters in present day England, who's father has died and left them totally broke. They decide to recoup the family funds by marrying into money. Of course, the whole thing is much harder than it looks but, in the end, they find love. And some of them even find money. It's a great book and it made me wonder, how hard can it be? And should I give it a try???? I need to recoup my family fortune and I certainly don't have any romantic prospects right now. Just sign me up for the FTW (Future Trophy Wives) Club. I hear membership comes with a house in the south of France. Hmmm.........this is looking better and better.

It Must Be The Heat

2006-07-05T20:25:00.000-04:00

This weekend my family broke from long-standing tradition and did not celebrate the 4th at my uncle's house, cooking out and setting off fireworks. We (and by "we" I mean Mom and Big Sis) waited until too late and just were not prepared so we couldn't go to VA. It was too late to get hotels and stuff. With the dogs we can no longer stay at my uncle's, there just isn't any room. So we stayed home and that's when the fun really started. The kids and the dogs ran completely wild all weekend. I swear the heat must have driven them insane. It was almost 100 degrees every day. It all started Friday night when we took the Malti-Poo out of the playpen while the Lab was out. Everything was copacetic at first. Lily was on Big Sis's lap playing with her. Austin was running around with the kids. Then I started playing with Lily (mistake #1). The was trying to get down so I put her on the floor so she could jump around my feet (mistake #2). Next thing I know, this simple dog has taken off running and is being chased by Austin. Everyone's running and screaming and trying to get the dogs. Big Sis and Little Brother are making a mad grab for Austin. Myself and Big M (10 y/o niece and owner of Lily) are trying to grab Lily, who's acting all squirrelly. We finally corral them and Big M makes a mad dash for the stairs with Lily, where she proceeds to read me the riot act for "almost getting Lily KILLED!" Oh, the drama. Where was Mom during all of this? She ran. The woman ran upstairs because she "didn't want to see the carnage."
Saturday was our little adventure at the mall. Long story short, Little M ran wild. I'm talking one of those nightmare kids you see in the mall and stuff and you're just like "where are the parents?" She knocked over displays, fell while chasing after Little Bro outside of Mrs. Fields, and had to be removed from Bath and Body Works before she destroyed it. But the highlight came in the Limited. She hates to be left behind and her favorite word (coming in second after mine) is wait, which is usually screamed out shrilly at the top of her lungs. After tearing through The Limited for almost an hour, Big M and Younger Sis left to go to another store. Little M goes tearing out of The Limited screaming WAAIIIIIIT!! She's running across the hall, Big Sis (her Mom) is chasing her, and everyone in The Limited and within hearing distance outside of it is staring. Big Sis catches her, picks her up, and brings her back into the store, doing the whole laughing/head shaking bit you see from people when their kids act crazy in public. At that point I told them I would catch up with them after I finished shopping.
Sunday was water mania. We have no pool (quelle horreur) so the kids play in the sprinklers and with the hose. The Ms, Little Bro, and Younger Sis engaged in a full blown water war. I'm talking the hose on full blast and Little Bro slammed against the French doors practically drowning in water, clawing at the doors trying to get to safety. It was madness. They were running and screaming and trying to out soak each other. At one point I locked them outside because they started getting water inside the house. And this, boys and girls, is why we only signed a short-term lease. We need a much bigger house. Also, a tranquilizer gun wouldn't hurt. Ahh, good times.

Drive Me Crazy

2006-06-23T22:04:00.000-04:00

I'm beginning to think that it's possible to be driven crazy by your family. Lord knows I'm almost there. I love my mother to death but our relationship is, to put it mildly, complicated. Same goes for me and my older sister. Of course, she's not my biggest fan either. But that's not the issue here. The issue is, as usual, my attempt at independence. These never go well and usually, I back down but not this time. I am planning to leave the nest at the end of this year or the beginning of next year (it all depends on the finances).
This disturbs them, greatly. Apparently, I am selfish. I have committed the biggest crime in this family, post divorce. I have tried to have a life of my own, one that involves not paying bills at home and not baby-sitting other people's children at the expense of what I want to do. And the thing that really gets me is that I never complained about doing these things or even minded because that's what family is all about. When my parents split up, five years ago, we all made sacrifices and helped out around the house. I was guilted out of going away to college because it would worry my mom and put a financial strain on the family. I accepted that, sucked it up, went to school from home, and had a really good time.
College is over and I'm 24. I want my own place and some independence. I also don't particularly like living at home. There are far too many people in this house and way too much drama.
Naturally, I'm really excited about this transition to full adulthood and, according to mother and big sis, I am constantly talking about it. I was totally unaware of this but it could be true. I know I have talked about it. My mother's brought it up by asking about roommates and trying to talk me out of it. My older sister has brought it up by asking when I'm moving out, etc. Other than that, I really haven't mentioned it much. Now I'm not going to mention it at all. My mom has been pointing out apartment complexes and saying how nice they look and stuff. All she gets back is dead silence. I'm done. It's a totally off-limits topic for her and my older sister.
The same thing happened when I was in college and wanted to go Greek. My mother was so against it. She kept being nasty about it and telling me not to do it. She didn't want me to be a part of anything that wasn't the MSA (Muslim Students Association). I finally told her that I did what she wanted, I stayed home and went to college. This was my show now and I was going to do what I wanted. I was no longer a child and she couldn't choose my extracurriculars. I never mentioned my sorority or anything else I was doing in her presence again. I didn't even invite her to stuff. And amazingly, I never felt one bit of guilt or remorse. I guess it's because I know my mother. When she doesn't approve of something she just picks it to death; making nasty comments, complaining, and generally being disagreeable about everything having to do with it.
There isn't even any point in trying to talk to her about her actions. Been there, done that, should've got a tee shirt. The first thing out of her mouth is that she resents that and the next is that it's your own fault/problem. Didn't feel you could talk to her? Your own fault. You should know that you can come to her. It's madness and I've finally gotten to the point where I'm just accepting that's who and how she is. I have, however, made it very clear that I won't hear anymore about the moving away issue. As far as I'm concerned, it's over and done with. She can either come to terms with it or not. My older sister has done much worse and hasn't been treated like this so I'm not going to stand for it.

BTW, the crappy temp assignment ended and I start another one with a different company on Tuesday. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

News, News, and More News

2006-06-14T21:50:00.000-04:00

Lots of news going on in my family. Naturally, none of it is mine. Something really must be done about my lack of a life. Although, it my defense, I am in a new city and I haven't really met anyone yet. How much of a life could I have? Anyway, on to the news..........
I finally have a job!!! Okay, it's a crappy temp position but it pays well. Most importantly, it means that I am no longer spending all of my free time on Craigslist and the News and Observer website. Yay! I have so missed collecting a paycheck. An added bonus is that I am now motivated to restart my Mary Kay business. Yes, I am a Mary Kay lady. Don't hate. I will keep you posted. I'm hoping all goes well. I know my friend/MK mentor is thrilled for me and doing all she can to help out.
My uncle (the one if VA) is engaged.
My cousin (the aforementioned uncle's son) is also engaged. They proposed on the same day. Isn't that cute?
Both rings are gorgeous.
My big sister just got a promotion at her job. Yay! She's a fabulous graphic designer.
Austin (the dog) is finally becoming house-broken and just in time. We're getting a malti-poo named Lily next Friday.

That's all for now.
Later Babies!

A Dog's Life

2006-06-05T21:16:00.000-04:00

So this weekend we got a dog. Technically, my little brother (not so little, he's 16) got a dog. A yellow lab named Austin. He's 10 weeks old. We picked him up from the breeder on Saturday and he's already gone to bathroom in the house eight times. My niece (the baby) has decided to become canine. She's started crawling around, barking, drinking from the dog's bowl, and playing with his toys. Oh, yeah, good times.
Today was the first vet appointment and my brother has discovered what a "chick magnet" dogs are. He attracted no less than 15 girls and young women in the 20 minutes we were standing outside of PetSmart. My favorite moment was when a group of 13-15 year old girls ran up to him squealing about how cute the puppy was. They were crowded around him, rubbing his arm and asking questions. He was in heaven.
Here's the link for the puppy pictures.
http://cards.webshots.com/invite/pickup/117211517vBLo/album/551073684ftGEFN

Road Trip

2006-05-24T15:44:00.000-04:00

Ahh, let the good times roll. I'm hitting the road with the family. We are heading to VA to visit the family and friends we left behind. That means yours truly will be trapped in a minivan for a little over four hours with six other people, including a 16 month old prone to loud vehicular fits. Hopefully, I'll live to tell you all about it.
Pray for me.

Bang Bang!

2006-05-22T20:42:00.000-04:00

My 16 month old niece is fast becoming a violent little terror. Today she pointed her finger at me and said "bang, bang" We (the family) made the mistake of laughing in shock and now she won't stop doing it. Everytime we try to tell her something she points her finger and says "bang, bang" or my personal favorite, "stab, stab" complete with stabbing motion.

Now I will admit that the stabbing thing is my fault. The other day she had a pin poking at her mother and I said "don't stab mommy." She kind of took it and ran. She started running around making a stabbing motion and going "stab, stab." Now she seems to do it when we make her mad or just for kicks. My sister says she does it because we react and we should just ignore her. But it's so hard! She's soooo cute and it's really rather funny. This is what comes watching violent t.v. shows and movies while pregnant. It's going to be classical music and family friendly programming all the way for me.

My First Post

2006-05-14T13:45:00.000-04:00

It's Mother's Day and this is my first post.

I'm on my way out with my family to check out puppies in Apex. They're getting a dog. I say "they" because I don't really want a dog and most importantly, I'm allergic to dogs (family remains convinced that a short-haired, well-groomed dog will not be a problem). However, this isn't a huge deal because I'm moving out at the end of the year. Yay! It will be my first time on my own. I didn't go away to college or anything. I'm really looking forward to it. My mom is, of course, less than enthused. She (like so many Muslim parents) believes that a single girl belongs at home with her parents until she's married. Not....gonna....happen. I love my family and we're close but it's time to move out.

P.S. I'm going to post pictures as soon as I can figure out how to shrink the file size (if such a thing is possible)