My younger sister feels that she needs an older husband to take care of her. And I'm talking seriously older, like 40-55. Before y'all start thinking she's a gold digger, she doesn't mean financially. She means he takes care of everything; pays the bills, fixes all problems or gets someone to fix them, handles household stuff, everything. She is kind of a mess. Despite being only 13 months younger than me, everyone has always treated her as if she's much younger. She's the baby girl. She doesn't cook, she doesn't clean, she can't handle stress, and she can't really take care of herself. I'm the most independent sibling and she's the least. Someone is always taking care of her and now she's convinced that she needs that for the rest of her life. She's got no shame about it; that's who she is. I mean, I know other women like her that have found nice older men to take care of them and it works out beautifully.
We're hoping that she'll get over it and lower the age requirement. In the meantime, she's into the online thing so my older sister and I were seeing what was out there in cyberspace. What should we come across but a sight called SugarDaddies.com. I'm talking serious sleaze here. Old men that appeared to be naked, "dominant dads" looking for "submissive daughters", ancient men looking for 22 year olds, all kinds of trash. It was terrible. However, we soldiered on and eventually came across a pretty decent site called Ageless Love or something like that. Who knows? Maybe she'll meet her distinguished Prince Charming online. Lord knows as picky as she is it'll be easier that way.
9 comments:
Oh dear! Maybe she'll find a lovingly guy her age and fall in love. Let's hope so.
Security is something we all crave, a sense that we will be taken care of. InshaAllah, she'll be able to find that in someone who isn't twice her age. But if she genuinely wants an older man, to each his own :)
Hummm, maybe you should tell her to look at the big picture. Women live longer than men. If she marries someone older, he may take care of her, but she'll most likely outlive him by 30 years. What about those years? Retirement plans aren't as cushy as they use to be, who knows about social security, plus he'll prob have childern from a previous marriages competing for inheritance. Not to mention if she has any childern, he'll prob be gone by the time they get to the age they really need money...yani college etc. She may live it up when she is young, but she may end up paying for it when she's old.
She sounds more like she needs a father figure...
I hope she finds someone closer to her own age.
"Lord knows as picky as she is it'll be easier that way"
Speaking as someone who has done online dating, I would shy away from having your sister try to find an "older" man online. That just sounds sketchy. Now, online dating, particularly from the more respected sites (Match.com, Eharmony, something religion-specific), is a good idea and DOES help weed out some of the unpleasant prospects.
You might also meet someone you never thought you would - my boyfriend and I have a LOT in common, but I could never have predicted I'd be dating an upper-class, winemaker from Oklahoma.
Suroor: I hope so.
Bushraaa: She does seem to genuinely want an older man. She thinks (and the rest of us kind of agree) that a guy in his 20s is not really going to be tolerant of her spoiled ways.
Atifa: You are so right. That's why she should go with a guy in his thirties. He's older but not old. There won't be all of these issues.
Ruby: I don't think a guy close to her age will be as tolerant. That being said, I still don't think she needs anyone quite so old.
Sarah: It is sketchy but never fear she belongs to Match and E Harmony too. You do have a good guy so maybe there's something to be said for this online thing.
assalam aleikoum sister
wow I would be really pensive if one of my sisters started to talk like that. In my opinion what she needs is someone no more than 5 years older than her, also an eldest sibling (so he will know to be responsible).
Hummm maybe she's just trying to freak you guys out. :)
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