Monday, November 27, 2006


I'm back. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving (or vacation if you don't celebrate).
I know everyone is wondering so I'll just get right to it. He won't do. He simply will not do.
Here's what happened:

I shopped on Friday but I didn't buy anything new to wear for this. I decided against that. I just wore the black wide-leg trousers, a pale pink sweater, a matching hijab, and pearl jewelry. I also decided against going through a lot of trouble with the baking. I just made a marbled bundt cake. I'm glad. It totally would have been a wasted effort. I suspected as much when I saw him at the door but I didn't want to rush to judgment. Ten minutes later, I knew I was right.
He totally acted like he didn't want to be there, like it was all just a big bother. His clothes were kinda wrinkled and he had this general unkempt look, which I totally don't go for. He was wearing chinos that looked like they needed to be washed and ironed and an oxford that needed to be ironed. Sweetie, have a little pride in your appearance. Okay, fine. I guess that can be worked with. A lot of guys need a little nudge in the wardrobe department. There's no need to be "overly picky." Unfortunately, it just got worse. I offered him tea, he asked for coffee. No one in my house drinks coffee so I had to tell him that we don't have coffee. He actually had the nerve to roll his eyes. His conversational skills were practically non existent. I had to drag every response out of him. Example:
What to do you? (I already knew this but he didn't know that)
IT. (that's further details.)
Really? Do you like it?
Does it matter?
Well, of course. I would hate having a job I didn't enjoy.
::dead silence::
Well....What do you like to do in your spare time?
**flash most charming smile** Well of course, but what kind of stuff? Maybe we do the same "stuff."
**waiting, waiting**
Do you like to travel?
Not really.
InshaAllah, I'm going skiing in January. Have you ever been skiing?
Have you read any good books recently? I just finished The Last Wife of Henry VIII. It was fascinating.
::blank look::
It's about Catherine Parr, the sixth wife of King Henry VIII of England. She's the only one that survived marriage to him and it's about her life before, during, and after their marriage.
How was your Thanksgiving?
Would you like another slice of cake?
::head nod::

Yeah, that about covers it. There was a little more one sided conversation and whatnot but this was pretty much it. I won't say he was completely rude, even though it seems like it. He was more socially awkward. I mean he kept clearing his throat, like he had this tic or something. He mumbled and kept his eyes averted most of the time. I wasn't sure if he was looking away out of respect or because he was nervous. It was just very trying. I mean, talking to him was like pulling teeth. He never even asked me one thing! Clearly, he had no interest in me or perhaps the entire marriage business. I don't know and it's irrelevant to me. I can go the rest of my life without ever seeing him again. I mean, it's one thing to be shy but another to be so socially inept that you're borderline rude. Also, his table manners were seriously questionable. He ate that cake like it was going to sprout legs and walk away. And he chewed with his mouth open. Ew. So wrong. I could never be married to someone that couldn't carry on a conversation and had bad manners.

My mother was not impressed. She thought his behavior was appalling and that he showed an obvious lack of home training.

At least I tried. No one can say I didn't try.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Hey y'all! I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving. I won't be posting tomorrow or probably at all until like next week. My mom will be holding me (and the rest of us - minus my brother) hostage in the kitchen tomorrow. We've actually started some of the cooking tonight. The sweet potatoes are being baked for the pies, the bread is being toasted for the stuffing, and the cornbread (also for stuffing) will be going into the oven soon. Tomorrow, my niece (Big M) and I will get up and watch the Macy's parade like we do every year. Then we'll watch the dog show with my mom. It's one of our traditions. Another tradition is having Thanksgiving with family but that's not happening this year. We have to go to VA next week so we're not making the trip this week. InshaAllah, we'll host everyone here next year.

Friday, we're hitting the sales. Well, I'm only hitting a few because I have to work all day (stinking retail). At least I don't open or close.

Saturday, I am meeting with a prospect. We're meeting at my house so I've got to clean and bake something. Shouldn't be a problem but I can't decide what to make. He's American so I know he won't want any more pie after Thanksgiving. I could make cookies but they don't show off my fabulous baking skills. They really are fabulous but cookies just don't do them justice. That being said, I don't want to seem show-offy (such a non-word) by making something really fancy. I'm also trying to avoid making anything super sweet or heavy, which kind of rules out a frosted cake (one of my specialties). I'm thinking of making either mini fruit tarts, a coffee cake, or a bundt cake. I'm strongly leaning towards bundt as I write this but that could change. And yes, I know that I'm over thinking this but it's about more than a good impression. I hate to put people in the position of either declining my cooking or having to eat something they don't want or like. There's no avoiding it sometimes but I try.
Another problem I'm having (ladies this is for you) is what to wear. I'm going through this thing right now where I hate everything in my closet. It's because I haven't gone shopping in a while. I do need/want some new stuff but I have tons of really nice clothes. I know this. Still, that doesn't stop me from having a closet full of nothing to wear. Here's the what's going on:
All of my fall skirts are short (like mid-calf) because I wear them with boots. I can't do that in the house; we don't wear our shoes inside.
I only have two fall/winter dresses that aren't too dressy. I have tons of spring/summer dresses. One of them is a basic black dress and the other is really cute but short (mid-calf again). I'm not really crazy about wearing the back with the pearls and whatnot. It's giving me a dowdy vibe. I could wear it with super trendy jewelry but it doesn't seem to work without the cute boots to punch it up.
Next up, we have trousers. I've got really nice black widelegs (like three pairs) from a French catalog. I'm thinking of wearing them with either a cream turtleneck or my grey twinset. It's very ladylike, and I do look great in the trousers. But I just feel like maybe it's boring. **NOTE**One of my girlfriends keeps telling me that nothing in my closet is boring or dowdy so I should stop the madness. She says my style is "very Anne Hathway in the Princess Diaries 2."**
Anyway, I've lost a little weight so both pairs of tan trousers are too big (they're both from Gap). I think my red trousers are too flashy (my mom would die if I wore those). My navy trousers could work but the hem came out of one leg so they're out. I mean, I'm sure my mom can fix them on Friday but I'm still, eh, about them. I've had my eye on these gorgeous cream trousers that I think would be so cute with either my red turtleneck or this plum twinset that I so want. I'm also looking at these grey widelegs with silver pinstripes. I want to wear them with a hot pink turtleneck. That'd be so, so cute. And yes, I have a huge thing for turtlenecks. I also love twinsets and pearls (perhaps, I'm a little prissy). Moving on.... for the last two outfits, I would have to buy something new and that seems so superficial. I mean, what I'm going to buy a new outfit every time? I couldn't possibly. But I really want to this time. It's a combination of wanting to look good and really wanting new clothes. It's really difficult because don't want to wear anything too trendy. I always like to start out with the updated classics. It's my best look. Anyway, we'll see but I think the grey and pink ensemble is calling me.

About the guy:
He's the son of a friend of one of my mom's friends. Said friend is kind of sponsoring us into society down here (where to go, who to know, etc.) so I kind of have to meet him. He sounds like a nice guy and this is the first guy I'm meeting down here. I'm kinda nervous, which is making me really chatty. Hopefully, I won't talk to much in front of him. I did that once; it was the first time I did anything like this. I was super nervous and I talked too much and scared him off. I haven't done it since but "since" has only been two other times. So here's goes nothing.........

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Marriage of Convenience

Okay so on Friday, something really bizarre happened. There is this Arab Muslim lady that works in our local Target. Well, my family and I went in there on Friday evening and she starts talking to my mom about how her and her family (minus a 20something son) came over here from wherever almost five years ago. He couldn't come over because he was 21 and apparently if you're 21+, you've got to find your own way into the US. So she starts asking my mom all about me and my sister and talking about how we seem like such nice girls. Awww.....not so much. She starts asking specifically about me and if I'm single, what I do, etc. Then she proceeds to tell my mom that she's looking for someone to marry her son and sponsor him into the country. WTH?! This cow tells my mom that she's willing to pay us for the trouble and that the marriage will only last a little while. After which we are both free to move on. So, of course, my mom gets completely pissed off. Not only could she not believe the audacity of this woman but my family is super sensitive about the whole immigration thing after my sister's first marriage. He only wanted a Green Card and no one knew that. Anyway, my mom went off on her. Told her that she should be ashamed of herself; temporary marriage is wrong in Islam and marrying someone for money in exchange for getting them into the country is a crime. She threatened to report her. She asked her where she got her nerve, we weren't some dirt poor family that she could take advantage of. We didn't need or want her money. She told her however her son gets over here is not her problem and she doesn't care if he never makes it over here. Go mom! My mom totally rocks. You should never try to mess with her or her family. She's totally going to come after you. I just don't know where people get their nerve. I mean, she's hardly ever spoken to us. Frankly, my sisters and I avoided her because we thought she seemed a little off. How right we were. Not only is she off, she's a CRIMINAL. A wannabe criminal anyway. Which is just as bad.
Oh, the things that happen to my family. We are weirdness magnets.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Princess Perky

That's what one of my co-workers called me yesterday. Awesome. I kinda bounced into work and she was like, "well if it isn't Princess Perky." I just started laughing. Some people can't take perk in the morning, or any other time of the day. Too bad, so sad. Then said she wanted to hate me but she couldn't. "You're so damn friendly." I'm loving it. Like what else am I going to be? I don't know anyone well enough to dislike them. I'm friendly until I'm given a reason not to be. This is my first week there and so far, so good. It's a women's clothing store (second job to hold me over between temp assignments) and the customers really seem to like me. So does the manager. She thinks I'm sunny. She asked if I've ever considered being a manager. Oooh. I'm going to talk to her about it because I'd rather do that than temp while I get started in event planning. I'm so over temping.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

You're enough to make a brother forget he's supposed to lower his gaze.

So I was going to post about this really fabu memoir I read and how more non-famous people should write them. Instead, I'm going to post about something that happened to me the other day. But before I do, I just want to say I don't know how or why this kind of stuff happens to me but it does. Here goes.........

Okay so I was in the "Muslim" part of Raleigh, which is near NC State University. There are all the usual suspects; cafes, shops, etc. I go into one store (a grocery w/ deli counter) and as I'm looking for this spice a brother comes up to me and says: "You know sister, you really ought to cover a little more. You're enough to make a brother forget he's supposed to lower his gaze. All that beauty (i.e. booty) shouldn't be on display." Cue open mouth and (mildly) shocked look. "Excuse me?" (said with much attitude)
"I'm just saying, if I was your husband, I'd be tempted to keep you veiled or at home."
"Yes, well, you're not my husband."
"Do you have one?"
"If you'll excuse me, I have shopping to finish."
"InshaAllah, I'll see you around." (this was said with a little smirk that I didn't care for at all)

Awww, sweetie, what led you to believe that this would be cute? Does your brain not filter things properly?

"Veiled or at home?" WTH???!!! I mean, get real. Now, I'm a hijabi. I may not wear an abaya but I do cover (somewhat). I wear jeans and other such but nothing really tight, nothing low, nothing sheer. In short, I'm leaving plenty to the imagination. Now granted I'm a curvy girl (a Beyonce build) and our shape shows a little (a lot) more, but I wasn't all out there. I was wearing a cream colored turtleneck sweater and Levi's. Neither one was tight. Close fitting but not tight. I didn't even have my jeans tucked into my boots. Now I'm pretty, I'll admit it. I could be better but I could be worse....a lot worse. Some days, I'm a knock out ;). My girlfriends tell me I'm sexy. I don't see it but Lord knows men have been seeing it since I was 13. However, there would never be a need to keep me locked in the house. I mean, really. I'm sure this was his weak, very weak, attempt at flirting but it just didn't do it for me. I wanted to be charmed and flattered but it just wasn't happening. Maybe I was too hard on the brother but there was just something smarmy about him.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Apparently, down here in Raleigh, Christmas starts early. Right after Halloween in fact. I found that out the day after Halloween. There I was cruising down 70 and I switch on the radio. What do I hear but Sunny 93.9 playing "Do You Hear What I Hear". Um, why? So I'm thinking it's a fluke. This can't be right. So I wait for the next song......"Jingle Bell Rock." Hmmm.....this isn't going as planned. I thought the regular music would start back up. Not so much. In fact, a lovely little announcement came over the radio saying that they've kicked off the holiday season. They will now be playing all of our favorites....24/7. Great times. As the day wore on and I flipped through other stations, most of them were playing at least some Christmas music. At least three of them are playing it all of the time. Like non-stop. The stores, malls, plazas, etc. have all of their decorations up.

Hello? It's the beginning of November. What's going on here? Is this happening anywhere else? In VA, at least the part I'm from, the decorations and music don't start until the day after Thanksgiving. I loved that. It was like an official kick off to the holiday season. A little "fall's over" memo for the general population. Now, I've got nothing against the holidays, in fact, I love the holiday season. I love the music, the shopping, the good cheer, all of it....even the crowds (for the most part). It just feels like we just jumped from summer to winter. Only, the weather says it's fall. It's like the vibe is winter but the weather is screaming fall. I'm so confused! LOL I want to be in fall mode but holiday vibes keep creeping in. Yesterday, I found myself singing along to Christmas Shoes by Newsong. That is a serious Christmas song. Hey, if you can't be 'em, join 'em.

But as much as I love the holidays, it's a bittersweet time. It signals the end of the year is near and there's so much I wanted to do that I haven't done. I mean, Lord, I don't even have a real job yet. Plus, and I do try not to whine about this but it's a fact, I hate being single during the holiday season. As much as I love the holiday parties, family dinners, celebrations, and even shopping; I hate doing it alone. I'm tired of being asked when I'm going to bring someone home for the holidays and if I'm bringing someone to the company party. I want to be in love with someone that loves me too, I want........well, I could go on and on but I won't. Being single (for Muslims especially) sucks but I don't believe in dwelling. It just brings you down. This year, like in the past, I refuse to allow the fact that I'm ::sigh:: alone (at least in the romantic sense) ruin my mood. Besides, the new year brings new beginnings. Another reason to love the season ;).

P.S. Before anyone gets all up in arms, I don't celebrate Christmas. But because my parents converted, most of my relatives are non-Muslims.