Sunday, May 06, 2007

The Kentucky Derby Test

As y'all may or may not know, the Kentucky Derby was this weekend. While, obviously, I didn't go; one of the Marine's CO's (commanding officer) had a Derby party at his house (gorgeous estate home) and we went. It was a test, plain and simple. The same test men always give; can you fit into my life? Please. Honey, I'm a Southern almost-Debutante, I can fit in anywhere. I showed up at the party looking like a million dollars. I wore a pink dress with a little cardigan over it, cute shoes, and the coup de grace; a fantastic hat (pink wide brim with feathers). And, yes, I wore my hijab. I tied it in a chignon at the nape of my neck. I looked fabulous.

Not only did the Marine have compliment after compliment for me, but everyone else did too. His CO's wife told me how much she loved my hat and I was a "darling' little thing." I danced with her husband twice. He's actually pretty charming. He thought I was the "prettiest little thing." Another wife commented on how good I was with the crowd. She said this was obviously my thing and that she wished she was better at it. I told her all she's got to do is fake it till she makes it. Then I started taking her around introducing her to people.

I'm sure most of them were expecting some mealy mouthed, socially inept, walking ten paces behind her man, stereotype of a Muslim woman. Never going to happen. I didn't hang on the Marine; he actually had to seek me out a couple of times for introductions. I was all things charming, polite, and gracious. I don't think there was anyone I didn't speak to at least once. Of course, I love all things social so I was in my element. As a result, I passed my test with flying colors. He says to me, "You were great tonight. I think you charmed everyone." I asked if I charmed him and he said "since the day we met." He wasn't sure I would enjoy myself because I didn't know anyone and it was mostly Marines and their significant others. Silly man. I just smiled and told him I love meeting new people, besides, after an hour together you're no longer strangers. He laughed but there was definitely relief in his eyes. It's basically like, can she handle this or is she going to make things difficult? I can handle it and now he knows so if we don't work out, it won't be because I can't fit into his life.


Haleem said...

So Kentucky Derby is sort of big down there? Never heard much as a peep about it here.

I did the same test on a girl too - we men all do. At sometime we will introduce her to our friends and see what it's like. For some reason we guys tend to fit in with all her friends easily, it's (some) girls who have a problem with the guys' friends. Don't know why that is though.

Congrats on passing the test lol never seen a Souther hijabi in pink with a hat but I am sure you made it all look so good. :-D

Suroor said...

Good luck! I think this guy has a huge crush on you :) How romantic!

Anonymous said...

Well done honey! A true Southern girl shines in any and every situation! I'm sure you looked fantastic!

'liya said...

I just wanted to tell you that your life sounds like a movie!

I came to your blog through Ruby's and was hooked on your love story. Had to read back a few posts to understand it but now I want to know what happens next! Update soon please :D

Sarah said...

This *so* reminds me of that Eric Clapton song, "Wonderful Tonight." So very, very cool.

Good job fitting in and being your charming self!

Searching for the Skinny Me said...

oh my god!!! Just like liya, I am addicted to the Marin and you!! keep the updates coming!!

Anonymous said...

Hummmmm, adoring ourselves with a piece of cloth doesn't make us hijabis. Hijab encompasses an entire realm of behavior, mannerisms, and conduct. Dancing with every man at the ball doesn’t fit in that realm. Allowing non-mahram men to feel our bodies next to theirs, smelled our perfume, giving them the feeling that they could have just eaten us up, how is that hijab? Granted they were denied the opp of jumping into bed with us, but for any thought they had in their mind, we’re responsible and accountable for it on the Day of Judgment.

Ironically hijab was used to defeat its very purpose. It may seem nice to be noticed as a pretty little thing, but isn’t hijab supposed to elevate us above that; not limit our value to our physical appearance? There is nothing wrong with being beautiful or looking beautiful, but our beauty is sacred. It’s not a free for all for any man who comes by. It’s for our huband and mahram. We’re worth more than to let any and every man see us and enjoy us. Why cheapen ourselves after Islam has elevated us?

People often criticize Muslims back home for loosing their religion in their native cultures. How is this any different? Islam meets Southern seduction, how paradoxical!

We can all make the motions to pray, fast, cover, etc but we should never forget that the most important aspects of those motions is the sincerity behind them; sincerity in pleasing Allah SWT. When that is missing all the motions become null and void. The hijab becomes null and void.

singlemuslimah said...

Haleem: Don't you live in Canada? Anyway, I don't know about it being "big" down here but the lady that threw the party is a former Kentucky society girl. The Derby will always be a huge deal for her.

Thanks, I make everything look good. ;)

Suroor: I was once told that guys don't get crushes. That is a silly female affliction. They like girls; they have the hots for them, and assorted other things but never a crush.

Ruby: Thank you, baby.

Liya: LOL A movie. I wish! I will keep you posted.

Sarah: Thanks! I've never heard that song. Now I'm going to have to download it.

Skinny: I have a following. I'm a rock star! Yay, me! hahaha

Anon: Very well said. However, we need to get a few things clear. I didn't dance with "every man at the ball." I danced with two men, the one I'm involved with and his boss. He wasn't feeling my body next to his; we didn't slow dance. We did the shag, our official state dance. It's kind of like swing. I wasn't wearing perfume (allergies). And as far as the whole, "eating me up" thing goes; ew. That is an expression that should be reserved for children under the age of five and I can assure that no one said that to me, least of all the Marine's boss. Lord. That would have been vulgar, rude, and completely inappropriate.

It is nice to be noticed but it's nothing new. I'm not trying to be funny or vain; I'm just stating a fact. My value isn't limited to my personal appearance. That being said, unless you are covered from head to toe, including your face, there is a good chance that someone is going to comment on your looks. It's happened to me, my sisters, even my mom. It’s happened to me in full hijab and twice with an abaya on at a Muslim function.

As for the Southern seduction, I hardly qualify as anyone's seductress. That title is better suited towards women like, I don't know, Angelina Jolie. Women who are really sexy and sexual; not pretty girls that went to finishing school.

I sincerely hope that you are not taking it upon yourself to question my sincerity. If that's the case, you should be glad you're anonymous.

Atifa said...

" I was once told that guys don't get crushes. That is a silly female affliction. They like girls; they have the hots for them, and assorted other things but never a crush."

I want more details...a post maybe. :)

Azlin said...

You (and Haleem too!) should write a book.Seriously.

Sarah said...

You, my friend, are amazing! You totally exceeded all of his expectations I bet. You seemed more in your element at that party than even him. Now, what kind of a test are you gonna put him through???

TwennyTwo said...



Dude, I go 2 days without checking and all this happens?! Got t'be more careful.

I'm all excited and giggly for you. And waiting to see what happens. Yay.