Monday, May 28, 2007

So much for my happy ending

The marine and I are dunzo. We ended it before I went away for the weekend. I'm a little sad about it but it was the right thing to do. There were quite a few things we disagreed on, he's got a bit of a temper, he rarely thinks he's wrong, and there's the whole mother thing. After our fight, we talked.......a lot. I prayed on it and I decided to end it. I mean, he doesn't think he has anything to apologize for. As far as he's concerned, he hasn't done or said anything wrong. His attitude is it was a fight and fights aren't pleasant. It just hit me; I can't spend the rest of my life with that kind of attitude. I'm actually glad we had that fight because the gloves came off. We stopped being nice and polite and that was good. The truth came out. And the truth is he thinks I'm spoiled and my family (that he hasn't even met) is pretentious. I think he can be a jerk, his mother is incredibly ill-bred, and he's a bit of a mama's boy. Obviously, this was doomed from the start. We just didn't know it.

Oh, well; you win some, you lose some. InshaAllah, I'll have better luck next time. Who knows, maybe I'll meet someone at the ICNA convention. Lord knows that's what my mother's hoping for.


Sarah said...

Well, good for you. Honest and open is the way to end things. My two "favorite" endings happened that way. It hurts while you're doing it, but you've got closure and a sense of peace about the whole thing.

There is CERTAINLY someone better out there for you.

Haleem said...

Truly you get to know a person when you can get them to be angry.

I was so relieved after I broke up. It was on my mind for a week.

Suroor said...

Ah, good! Inshallah someone better will come along to sweep you off your feet.

Working said...

It's probably for the best. Good luck!

Furfura said...

I don't know if just hoping to meet someone at the ICNA is a good idea. We have been (young muslims) talking about this a lot, and we realized that it's not right to have that intenton going on a convention. I have never been to ICNA, but if ICNA is anything like the ISNA, I am not sure if you will even meet any quality person. So, even though I don't know you AT ALL, and it may not be my place to give you advices, but as a fellow sister, I would suggest to keep your intention clear, for the sake of Allah, and inshaAllah Allah will take care of your business.

If you want to do it in a more serious fashion, ISNA has a matrimonial "meeting" type of thing during the convention, and usually people with serious intention of marriage go there, and meet. That may be a much more efficient way to do it. Also, don't discount those online matrimonial websites, the serious ones where you have to pay to register. Quite a few frineds of mine found wonderful men through those.

muslimahlocs said...

asa. too bad for him. next!

web said...

ICNA has always strived to provide a much more Islamic environment for its guests.

It has a separate matrimonial section/program at the convention.

singlemuslimah said...

Sarah: So true.

Haleem: You do really get to know someone when they get angry and the gloves come off. I'm relieved too. It's just a closure thing.

Suroor: InshaAllah.

Working: Thanks!

Furfura: Sweetie, I was kidding about the ICNA thing. Except for the part about my mom; she's always hoping I'll meet someone somewhere. As long as it's not in a bar or something, she's all for it. But you're really sweet to worry about me.

Muslimahlocs: ITA. NEXT!

Web: Interesting. I haven't been since I was in my teens. Obviously these things didn't concern me then.

Atifa said...

Furfura what's wrong with the intenstion of going to a conference to meet someone. Personally, I've never been to ICNA and I never was a fan of the ISNA crowd, but in principle why do you need to clear your intensions if you're going with hopes of meeting someone. Looking for a person to marry is one of the purest thing we can do. It bothers me when I hear ppl think n marriage on the mind is a bad intension of going to a large gathering of Muslims. If you keep yourself in check, what better oppurtunity?

Furfura said...

LOL, SM, I walys joke around when going to ISNA in a similar fashion, "I amma meet someone".
To answer your question Atifa:
There is NOTHING wrong with the intention to marry, but the approach needs to be a good one. That is why I was saying to go through those matrimonial services to get serious. Because the rest of the crowd (don't know about ICNA) are just the "lobby party" people. And them kids indulge in drinking and even in that Islamic convention, the hot thing was to "get laid". That is why I said, it is good to check our intention. If marriage is what we want, we would like to make sure we are clear with ourselves and go through the system set up for that. If it's something like just checking it out or something more shallow, I fear being in the "wrong" crowd.

Again, as I said before, I have no right to say anything on this blog, as I don't know the blogger, but at least learning from her blog that she just had a very bad experience with someone, and me being a Muslim girl myself and seeing my dear convert friends ending up with "wrong" type of men, I just thought I would drop a few words about the services that could be somewhat of a better way find someone, inshaAllah.
no hard feelings.


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