People (older Muslim women) that have known me awhile keep asking me why I want to get married now. Today an old friend of my mom's called and when my mom told her she was looking, naturally she wanted to talk to me. She wanted to ask why now. I don't get that; it's not like I was ever against marriage. I just didn't want to be married while I was in college. I wanted to fully enjoy college without responsibilities. I did and now it's time for the next chapter in my life. I fail to see why this is a big deal. Yet, people keep harping on it. My personal favorite is "oh, you want a baby don't you?" Um, actually, not really. Not now anyway. Of course, I learned the hard way that saying that is not acceptable. Muslims don't want to hear that you aren't just chomping at the bit to procreate. So I just give a polite smile and say nothing. I figure it's better to do that than have it spread around that I'm some kind of a baby hater.
Why are people even asking a question like that? It's like at job interviews when they ask why, with my education, I want to work as a receptionist or administrative assistant. Why do you think? I need employment of some kind and I haven't found the job I really want so here I am. That, however, isn't an acceptable answer so I have to dig up an acceptable response. Same thing with this, I just pull out the most parent approved response; ::cue super innocent face:: I'm ready to settle down and, of course, fulfill half my deen. Then come the approving, maternal smiles and comments on how right and proper my attitude is. And, of course, how far I've come from that silly, gossipy girl. Yeah, I was like 15, let's move on.
Of course, no one wants the God honest truth, especially from a woman. One of my girlfriends is constantly saying that she's going to start telling people that virginity is over-rated so she's putting her's up for sale. The price is a $100k wedding and a European honeymoon. I've suggested she hold her tongue. Any response related to sex would be completely inappropriate; more so for a woman. Most people know that factors in with men, however, they are not willing to think about it when it comes to women. Our reasons for marriage are as follows; babies, security, babies, deen, and babies. Any hints at romance gain you a lecture on the harsh realities of marriage and getting some is a non-issue. This is fine because some things are not meant to be discussed in polite society. But why ask? You must know you won't get the whole truth so just let sleeping dogs lie. I just don't know why people insist on asking questions when they don't really want the answer.